Happy Mother's Day for those who celebrate

[The People]

For years I didn't celebrate this. Not just because of her but because of me and other things I would prefer not to get into. What I did do was use the day to recognize what I had lost. I would put flowers down in a special place. I have no need to do that anymore but it was part of the healing process.

Tomorrow I will join my friends for dinner. I am proud to say that I bring something to this family. They were never ones to celebrate anything but Christmas. The mother of the house who is my friend is in her 80s loves to be fussed over. So I have made a change in the way they do things for her. I am proud of that. She is nothing like my own mother and I don't look upon her as a replacement. We are friends who fill gaps in each other's lives.

Her son will gook. He is a good cook. He is close to me in age but there is no romantic twist there. Certainly not on my part. Should he try to make it so I will brush him off but we do get along as friends. And with his own issues, he appreciates what I bring to the group. Things he doesn't think of, a sounding board for him and his mother that has actually allowed them to get along better.

My friendship mix is quite unique. And mostly I am OK with that.

[mosaic]

thank you, people. this day was always a mixed bag for me. when my mother was alive i could NEVER get one of those sappy, saccharine cards that gushed about what a wonderful mother she was. i always found a humorous card that ended with a punch line.

it seemed to be a tradition in my church to always have people talk about mothers and motherhood on that day (we do not have a paid clergy to give sermons). i secretly dreaded that day for two reasons - it was painful to hear people go on and on about what a wonderful mother they had (something to which i could not relate)... and also i was terrified that some day i would be asked to speak on that day, and what would i say?

i am glad you have dinner plans with your friends. i hope it is a good day for you.

[phoenix22]

Mother's Day is in March over here in the UK so has been and gone..but Happy (belated) Mother's Day to all who celebrate it elsewhere.
Have to say that I love the day..I am lucky to have 3 adult children who are so very special and kind to me..but remember my own mother as cruel and difficult.
I have tried to reclaim all the "special" days that were destroyed by my childhood experiences .

[The People]

You are blessed for sure Phoenix 22. I am the reverse of the sandwich generation. The ham with no bread. Deceased mother would try really hard and a switch would flip in her head. Things would get ugly. The other missing slice of bread.... ugly story.

[phoenix22]

Some years ago I suddenly realised I was avoiding certain days,days tainted by a crap childhood..and ,because I refuse to let "them " win,I decided to reclaim these days,to make them special for me and my children.
Christmas used to be a nightmare...but I made it as special as I could for the children. Ditto Easter,and although I still have residual problems with these days I try to make them happy..to undo the misery that I associated with them .
That said I know I have many parts within that rail at these days,at the idea of Mother's Day ( and so much worse than that Father's Day..even typing that causes so many problems )
Think all any of us can do is get through each day as best we can..sometimes so difficult tbh

[The People]

I have been doing the same thing. I don't have outside kids but we still work hard to make holidays special for the inside littles. Some of them are easier than others. As a red dot survivor, some will always be hard to some degree but it really has gotten easier.

I remember before T, and before memories were let loose I would have such difficult times without knowing why. Once I knew why I slowly pushed myself out into the open. Now I don't have to hide all the way through some days. They just go by like any other day. For me, that factor alone is a positive that came out of going to therapy.