One alter is acting out sexually. What do I do?

[puzzle]

I haven't been on here for a while.  Primarily because I thought I was doing well.  But then, everything starting falling apart.  Visual hallucinations, physical problems, and most of all my alters acting out.  One alter in particular began going out to bars again and this time having one night stands with the men at the bars.  It happened maybe half a dozen times before I told my therapist.  Most of the alters did not want to speak with my therapist but the one having sex did.  She told my therapist she would not do it again (if I met some rules) but I don't believe her.  What do I do????!!!!!

[The People]

That is a tough one. Did she tell the T why she is doing this? Do you have any internal contact with her? We have 1 who used to come out at the bar. We thought we had an alcohol problem but later on learned that she blocked us when she took over. We worked on the whys of what she did. It doesn't happen anymore and now she is a strong member of the inner circle. I don't want to get into our whys but I think it is important to figure out the whys of your alter. Like, is she looking for love or just physical contact? Is she recreating the past? Is she deliberately putting you in danger out of self hatred? So many reasons but each one of them put you in danger.

I hope she keeps talking with your T about why it happens. Promising it won't happen doesn't go far enough.

[nats]

agreeing with the People. everyone has reasons for the things they do, even if they aren't immediately obvious. try to communicate and work out why she might be doing this and if there are any less damaging ways she can get what she is looking for.

[puzzle]

Thank you all for your thoughts! She told my T I was being a NAZI by not letting her or anyone else in my system do what they want because Colleen has a lot of work to do. I think part of the problem is also because the man I was dating is sick and in the hospital (for the past 5 months) for a lung problem and he does not want to be around us because he cannot take care of us a someone with a chronic disease. All the alters miss him! He is the first man (I have only dated 3) I have dated who they really like and are comfortable around. The problem is Colleen misses him too and the only way she knows how to deal with the loss is to work that much harder!

[Silent Society]

I have no idea what to say. Just want to offer my support. Dealing with loss is hard.
silent s

[nats]

loss is very hard. none of us are good at it. sorry you're all going through this.

[The People]

Sorry about the loss of your friend. We have tried a few relationships decades ago. They just don't work. None since dx although some issues caused by 1 alter. Her way of working things out. She has stopped because we had some scares. But also because we don't go to many places anymore where we would meet people we would even consider dating. Hell, finding friends is hard enough.

[nats]

"...finding friends is hard enough" so true, we've made no proper social efforts for years now..