internal struggle

[Tangled Web]

I came up with what I thought was a great idea. I spoke with my T and she thought it was a great idea also. The idea was for her and I to write an email of the things we would want her to say (only if she meant them) when we were struggling and needed that. She would send it to us to give us a sense of hope and things........

But now I can't do it. I wish I had never even thought about it, mentioned it, tried to do anything. The internal struggle is horrendous regarding this. One side says it is wrong to want, you can't rely on anyone, that it is all wrong. The other side is saying things that they want and it goes on and on. The battering back and forth. I can't do it........I just can't. I don't know what is right or wrong anymore.
Tangled