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+--- Thread: internal struggle (/showthread.php?tid=1304)
internal struggle - Tangled Web - 05-07-2014
I came up with what I thought was a great idea. I spoke with my T and she thought it was a great idea also. The idea was for her and I to write an email of the things we would want her to say (only if she meant them) when we were struggling and needed that. She would send it to us to give us a sense of hope and things........
But now I can't do it. I wish I had never even thought about it, mentioned it, tried to do anything. The internal struggle is horrendous regarding this. One side says it is wrong to want, you can't rely on anyone, that it is all wrong. The other side is saying things that they want and it goes on and on. The battering back and forth. I can't do it........I just can't. I don't know what is right or wrong anymore.
Tangled
RE: internal struggle - nats - 05-08-2014
we get like this sometimes. usually we take one of two options depending on the importance of the issue being fought over:
1. we let it go, at least for awhile - i.e. if it's not particularly important, right now, to do it.
2. if it is important right now, there is a negotiation and bartering process (actually more of a loudest voice wins process) such as 'if you let me do this one bit (e.g. in your case one positive sentence instead of a whole list), we promise to do x (i.e. something that a lot of influential people like - in our case often some kind of treat), but until we get this one thing, we can all sit here and scream at each other forever...'
you may get from this that our system does a lot of fighting, which is true. the reality is that in disagreements there is usually some validity in both sides position and sometimes it's just a matter of finding that core concern and finding an acceptable solution.