unable to explain

[Tangled Web]

I find myself unable to find the words to explain things to my T so she understands.
Today I was trying to tell her that the logic I have when I am NOT talking about my childhood is completely different and I understand and believe things so much differently than when I am talking about my childhood. It feels like there are two totally separate and completely different worlds inside me. There is the present world where I can understand logic and there is the past world that consists of my childhood that doesn't understand the logic. I can't bring the logic I have from this present world into my past world. And I don't know why..........And I wish the words I tried to use came out as easily as they are now when I was in her office with her.
Why do the same not rules not apply to me as they do when I am in my present world. I can have the strong beliefs that no child deserves to be abused or hurt by their parents but when I am standing in my past.....I can't do that. Things change and I don't how to explain it, it just all changes and I can't get the good beliefs I have inside the past. Anyone have any insight on this? Does any of this make sense?
Tangled