we hurt in many ways

[chem_in_6]

We hurt.
Each crew member in different ways, maybe.
But we all hurt.
It’s a collective pain
We feel as if we are scattered an “in pieces” emotionally.
We have been marginalised, hurt, and invalidated the past few days.
Each of us has different ways of coping.

Chem is hiding right now and really wants to whack people with big heavy textbooks.
She’s also not communicating with anyone
Mella has been crying a lot and has been difficult
Peskee came out once but had an epic meltdown
Jo Jo… we can feel her presence, but she won’t let the pain and frustrations go
We (Zip and Oldest) are trying to hold us together as a crew.
We are struggling right now.
We wish chem was feeling better enough to at least communicate what we’re supposed to do
We want chem to come back to handle orientation leader training.
She’s better at this sh*t than we are.
We are crying as we type this.

Angry music doesn’t help.
Crying makes everyone feel bad
Walking outside is not helping
We tried mindfully eating cheese and a chocolate bar.
Failed miserably
Can’t quite process anything
We are raw, vulnerable, and feeling horrible

We want to do something (maybe stupid, maybe not)
We want to feel better.
We want sleep
We want to feel understood
We want to feel whole again
We want to be listened to

We are shattered, but not completely broken.
We somewhere have the courage to get up and say:
“We will try again tomorrow”

(Zip and Oldest- maybe chem will come back soon)