A loss

[The People]

This has hit me so hard. I don't think it was a heart attack but will leave it at that. Saw PDoc today and cried a lot. See T tomorrow. Too many parallels in our lives although his issues are not from FOO to my knowledge. But there are just things... that is what is making it hard aside from the loss.

The last time I saw him was the Friday before. Something felt wrong but I thought it was the other guy who acknowledged he wasn't doing great. I could say I wish until I am blue in the face but it will not change things. Memorial is Friday and I will go with a friend who also knows him. Worried that someone else that I do not like will ask to come with me. NO! She did not even know him that well although she is needy too and has her own issues. I know her from another place. Was really insulted when I went in and someone thought I was her. Let it go as he is older but he sees me there all the time. I cannot stand her. But I will be meeting with her tomorrow and she will have the need to say something. I may just tell her to shut the f*ck up. Some people just make your skin crawl as they are obviously... crazier than me.