freakin' out some (maybe more than some)

[Dreamscapes Collectives]

tomorrow my oldest kid flies out to Caltech for a month for some freshman seminar. we live in Texas. California is very much NOT close. I can't go to the airport tomorrow for so many reasons. which makes me feel like a sh*tty mom. I should be able to ignore every freakin' thing going on and go with my kid. And I can't... Not to mention that tomorrow is my youngest's b-day and party at his Nana and Oompah's house (my parents). we are so f*ck*d up...

why the hell did all the freaking out wait till tonight? I've known this was coming for weeks! Those of us who aren't moms are jealous as all get out 'cuz we didn't get to do this when we were his age, no matter the reasons. Those of us who ARE moms? we're worried, we're scared, we keep fighting tears....we have no anti-anxiety meds....

I know in my head that we'll make it through this just like everything else. But...two days ago he gave me a HUG (the kid who HATES hugs), a REAL hug, AND let my daughter take a picture (I promised him it would NOT end up on facebook) for crying out loud. That tells me he loves more than if he actually said it.

why do kids have to grow up? :*(

mostly the moms
realms