Friendships in general

[The People]

I am curious. I know that it is more difficult to connect with new people as we get older but since I stopped working my social life disappeared. Well, often work was my social life. With chronic fatigue there were nights for that last decade when it went... work bed, supper bed.

When I lived north of her I had friends for every personality type. As many of them had little kids that was the icing on the cake. We were ll close in age and had various things in common. Some of us golfed in summer. Others read the same books as I did. Wewouldgoout for a few bites or a few drinks.

I also had friends from self-help groups. That could be troublesome at times but I was closer to them than I ever was to my sisters. And we could laugh at the past. I remember one friend J who was in H. 2 of us went to visit her and we would sit outside so she could smoke. One evening we were sitting there telling stories. She would have been a great writer had she been able to organize herself. She eventually had a DX of probable DID but there were other things too. Anyway, I remember her telling stories of her Dad. The 3 of us would laugh so hard we would draw attention to ourselves. If people only knew what we were laughing at they would be flabbergasted. They would never understand how her stupid drunk of a father could do anything that would make us laugh. It was so healing!

Now we do nothing. We go walking with a friend occasionally but they are all so different from me. Some complainers, one who is interesting and kind but has lived here for decades and has already carved out a life for herself. We have a few friends but WTF? One called me from a city a few hours away the other night. I have known her for years and she spend the whole freakin' time talking about her golf lessons and the man who teaches them.

I kicked another one to the curb last year because everything was about her. Etc etc.. I have a hair appointment on Thursday (where I live is opening up) and for many reasons I so look forward to it.

The Pandemic has made me realize how empty my life is. I am going to start going back to church if only for the social part of it. I really like my pastor and his family and they owe me a meal. I have tried joining this and that but life is so boring. I am not close to anyone in 3D. Well my cat. And I think I will get her a friend.

I want to be a minion.