we hurt in many ways

[chem_in_6]

We hurt.
Each crew member in different ways, maybe.
But we all hurt.
It’s a collective pain
We feel as if we are scattered an “in pieces” emotionally.
We have been marginalised, hurt, and invalidated the past few days.
Each of us has different ways of coping.

Chem is hiding right now and really wants to whack people with big heavy textbooks.
She’s also not communicating with anyone
Mella has been crying a lot and has been difficult
Peskee came out once but had an epic meltdown
Jo Jo… we can feel her presence, but she won’t let the pain and frustrations go
We (Zip and Oldest) are trying to hold us together as a crew.
We are struggling right now.
We wish chem was feeling better enough to at least communicate what we’re supposed to do
We want chem to come back to handle orientation leader training.
She’s better at this sh*t than we are.
We are crying as we type this.

Angry music doesn’t help.
Crying makes everyone feel bad
Walking outside is not helping
We tried mindfully eating cheese and a chocolate bar.
Failed miserably
Can’t quite process anything
We are raw, vulnerable, and feeling horrible

We want to do something (maybe stupid, maybe not)
We want to feel better.
We want sleep
We want to feel understood
We want to feel whole again
We want to be listened to

We are shattered, but not completely broken.
We somewhere have the courage to get up and say:
“We will try again tomorrow”

(Zip and Oldest- maybe chem will come back soon)

[Tangled Web]

I am so sorry that things are so painful right now. We are listening and understanding these feelings. I hope that helps.
TW

[dragonfairy]

We are sorry to hear you are feeling so broken. You are not alone and we are listening. We relate to your pain and wish we could take it away. Keep talking if it helps as we care and are here.

[MakersDozn]

Definitely hearing you, chem_in_6.

I can especially ID with wanting to whack people over the head with a heavy textbook. We graduated from college 30 years ago, but most outside people annoy the hell out of me.

Hoping you all feel better soon.

Laura and others

[Blue]

Yo chem_in_6. So sorry to hear that ya struggling. We hear you and send support your way. Hope yous feel better soon and manage to feel whole again.
Blue.

[Cammy]

We hear your hurt. We understand when many different parts hurt. No refuge and no one really understands. That hurts more.

[chem_in_6]

We figured out why Mella, our ten year old, has been so difficult lately. Poor body is doing things that she's never experienced

Spoiler

menstrual cycle, cramps, hip pain, and issues related to a connective tissue disorder.

she wants to understand what's going on, but she doesn't always know how to ask questions about it. it's hard for her because she's stuck at 10, and body is nearly 22.

chem's sort of back. she stops by now and again when it's not the orientation leader training time. she's exhausted and feeling overwhelmed because she has to do so much stuff for the trainings, and a lot of it involves being extroverted, which she is NOT.

Peskee apologised for the meltdown she had

Jo Jo is still angry and scared, but she's less close to the surface and not as angry as she's been lately

we're holding onto threads of hope (Zip and I [Oldest]) that things go okay for the rest of this week. Zip and I will be spending a lot of time out with chem whilst she's taking pictures in the hopes that she doesn't feel overwhelmed.

[dragonfairy]

Glad to hear that you at least recognize what is going on with Mella and hopefully with that knowledge you can start to help her through this rough time.

Hope your week progresses well and that although a struggle together you all manage to make it through with the support of one another. Sometimes that is all we can do is help each other as best we can to survive as hard as it may be.

Know that you are not alone and have tons of friends here that are supportive and here if you need to reach out. Keep your head up and we admire your strength as some days we are not sure we could do the same.

Katie and crew

[chem_in_6]

now that we know what Mella needs help with, we are trying to figure out how to help her.

have any of you had to explain what we'll call "difficult issues" to littles/middles before? If so, how did you do it?

Mella's really curious so would probably read books or articles from websites we think would be okay for her to understand. How would you talk to a little about this? we feel like talking to her would help her because she could ask chem questions about what's going on and chem could talk to her about the different issues.

it's hard for us to keep going. classes start in 6 days, and therapy starts in a week. we don't feel ready for either thing to start. except that we have all the supplies for school. ack. chem is both excited for classes to start and scared. she has a couple of classes she absolutely has to do well in or she is afraid she won't get in to grad programs. we wish we could help her realise it's okay to not go to grad school right away. all kinds of confused

-Zip and Oldest