Confusing

[The People]

MT talk of funeral. No details except my own thoughts and emotions.
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I just returned from memorial for a friend's father. People spoke so highly of him and one could tell by the words that were used that each person was genuine in their love and laughter regarding the life of my friend's father.

I rarely go to these things. Perhaps my attendance today is a sign of healing. I always get confused however. People really love others that much? Especially parents? What does that feel like? Why do I not ever feel that?

I never went to the funerals of either parent. For the first one I was getting into thew memory game (alters arrived the night she died) and with the father we we not welcomed even if we had any desire to go. We had spoken the truth.

My friend had many people there. For her family as well as herself. That too is confusing being a push me pull you kind of person.

Ending on a light note. I was raised RC with RC hymns. So some songs I only heard bits of on television. When they started singing "Shall we gather at the river" an image of Granny Clampet marching past the Seement Pond with a pot on her head and another one being beaten with a wooden spoon to replicate a drum. I kept the laughter inside but from the sounds of my friend's father if he knew me he would have laughed with me from wherever he is. The beautiful the beautiful river.

[orek]

"People really love others that much? Especially parents? What does that feel like? Why do I not ever feel that?"

Boy, can we relate to that! We still will say something along those lines to our T, our confusion at a demonstration or some expression of parental/child love or connection that we saw or heard or whatever. It reminds us of things we see on T.V. and have always craved but find it hard to believe really exists in RL. Your funeral story is a perfect example of that. Often insiders will ask our T if it really is that way with parents and their kids. What is "normal" is a constant learning curve for us! It's also hard for us to trust it and not suspect a toxic malevolence that is hidden behind a "happy" or "caring" facade. So when it seems sincere without those kind of undercurrents, we're befuddled.

Good topic. And, I love the granny image! We were raised RC, too, so those protestant hymns are a different kind of animal altogether for us.