Empowered by Anger?

[MakersDozn]

Or not?

Are we empowered by anger, or is this sense of empowerment all an illusion?

Sometimes I believe that anger is all I can depend on. Other than myself. And at times they are one and the same.

If I release it, I have nothing left. Or so it seems. I can count on nothing and no one. And at times, not even myself.

Rachel

[Tangled Web]

I believe anger can be very empowering. For me it gives me strength that I can't find on my own to do things I would never imagine doing. I feel invinsible in my anger........and wear it like the iron inpentratable armor and keep it close always! To give it up would leave us exposed, vulnerable and weak. I understand about the feeling of releasing it and having nothing left. I feel the exact same way!
Sylvie

[MakersDozn]

I don't feel invisible in my anger. Anger keeps me from feeling helpless. It propels me to action.

It does for me what other people can't and don't do. And it's making me miserable.

Thank you for replying.

Rachel

[Tangled Web]

I am sorry it is making you miserable.
Laura

[MakersDozn]

(07-01-2012, 08:36 PM)Tangled Web Wrote: I am sorry it is making you miserable.
Laura

Thank you. I'm not used to hearing that our feelings matter.

Rachel

[nats]

hi Rachel,
for us anger is very empowering. we need it and use it to keep many of us going. however, it burns energy very very quickly and if life is going OK it can become harder to refuel. some slower burning passion might work better to keep us going, but no one knows how to achieve that.

if you're feeling miserable from the anger, what else is there for you?

[tweeter]

(07-01-2012, 06:51 PM)MakersDozn Wrote: Or not?

Are we empowered by anger, or is this sense of empowerment all an illusion?

Sometimes I believe that anger is all I can depend on. Other than myself. And at times they are one and the same.

If I release it, I have nothing left. Or so it seems. I can count on nothing and no one. And at times, not even myself.

Rachel

Hi Rachel. Good post!

Anger can yield a degree of energy that is ordinarily unavailable to someone. It can make it possible to take action, rather than just taking what comes stoically, for instance. I could get into this aspect of the topic, but I'd rather get to the crux of what anger is for me.

Anger is a marker that I've become helpless in some way, and generally won't occur without that ingredient. As such, I feel even more unempowered.
I don't fight back in anger. I try not to. When I must fight, it is best done dispassionately. I speak from experience.

2011 was one of the most angry times in my life since childhood, all with cause. I was powerless and afraid, and betrayed, which yielded rage. Anger was leaving me worse off. Heck, I'm too tired to be angry. I let it take its course, and it's dying back, which is a good thing.
I am getting things accomplished which I couldn't do in an angered state. Every little bit helps.

So, anger has never really done me good. Pretty much saps useful energy and leaves me alone and misunderstood, as I was.

tweeter

[MakersDozn]

(07-03-2012, 12:56 AM)tweeter Wrote: Anger is a marker that I've become helpless in some way, and generally won't occur without that ingredient. As such, I feel even more unempowered.

Yes.

Helplessness and disempowerment. And hopelessness.

I have no answers.

Thank you for replying.

Rachel

[MakersDozn]

(07-02-2012, 03:24 PM)nats Wrote: if you're feeling miserable from the anger, what else is there for you?

I have no idea. All I know is the misery, the helplessness, the disempowerment, and the hopelessness.

Thank you for replying.

Rachel

[WendyLee]

In therapy we learned that it is a very good thing to identify our bad feelings and how come we got them,,,, and when we are feeling better we need to find different ways to feel better in the future when we are in a bad spot. The therapist says she thinks of being at the beach for a few seconds and that makes her feel lots better, even if she is leading a group therapy session.

When feeling good, make lists of nice things we like to do like sing or watch a silly tv show or look at a funny website. have a bag or back pack or box ready with fun things to do like clay or bubbles or crayons or nerf balls to throw.

the hard part is remembering to look at the lists and do something when we do not want to do anything. and it is hard to remember to look in the backpack and take something out when we feel too bad to move.

[MakersDozn]

WendyLee,

Making lists is triggering for us. It gives the list items a level of reality that we're not ready to accept. So we generally avoid making lists.

Thank you for replying.

Rachel

[WendyLee]

Rachael, maybe that is why we cannot remember to look at the lists. Thanks for that insight, we all really appreciate your input.

[orek]

(07-01-2012, 06:51 PM)MakersDozn Wrote: Or not?

Are we empowered by anger, or is this sense of empowerment all an illusion?

Sometimes I believe that anger is all I can depend on. Other than myself. And at times they are one and the same.

If I release it, I have nothing left. Or so it seems. I can count on nothing and no one. And at times, not even myself.

Rachel

Not there yet where we can even discuss it. But we support you in your tackling of this very hard issue. Take care--orek

[shades]

i think anger is very helpful to give us strength, energy, motivation when needed. and it also is very powerful in keeping us distanced from other people. that might have been an important survival skill in the past. but it keeps us distanced from those feelings of connection and love that make life enjoyable instead of just something to survive. anger makes us less vulnerable, but being vulnerable is the only way to get to some of the most important parts of positive human experience.

[MakersDozn]

shades, thank you for writing back. Right now the only thing that works for me is to work the Twelve Steps. We do not have any substance issues, but the Twelve Steps help us with emotions as well.

I do not like thinking that there are people and things that I can't control, including the fact that I have feelings that I don't like. And none of us see this approach as an easy fix. But it's the only thing that helps us now, in addition to going to therapy.

Rachel