Anger with God

[The People]

Do you ever get mad at God because of how your life has been? I mean so angry that you cut yourself off from anything to do with church etc. There is still 'prayer' as two has long discussions with him on a regular basis; only one might compare it to her discussions with the kitties.

I don't know if there is a memory building up or if it is just sick of a life time of pain and heartache. It started at mother's Day. A day that becomes more difficult each year and brought MT stuff with it this year. Stuff that explained a lot of things but was still horrible. Maybe deep down we figure God is punishing us like in the old testament but the part of mew that is rational about the whole thing doesn't believe in that sort of God.

Anyway, feedback would be appreciated and if you happen top be talking to HIM could you please ask him to answer me!

[Jess and The Hamlet]

Hi The People,

We are not sure how much help we can be. We have felt the way you describe but chose to cut ourselves off from the church a long time ago for various reasons. We can relate to your feelings of anger and your feelings of pain and heartache. We often find the pain and heartache overwhelming. We hope things get easier for you and you are able to find answers to your questions.

Sorry not to be much help. Just wanted you to know you are not alone and we understand how difficult it is to be in the place you find yourselves in as we have been in a similar place in the past.
Tara and Jess

[mosaic]

we haven't been that angry - but we've sure been confused a lot

sometimes as we're going through life it feels like God holds out something good for us and just before we are able to take it he yanks it away...

sometimes we just believe we are invisible - to God, to everyone

a lot of times we sure don't feel like our prayers are being heard/answered - at least not that we can see

afraid we can't offer much in the way of solutions

we have typed and backspaced three times at least, trying to find the words to say something comforting - but it all sounds trite. we're here with you is all we can say.

[The People]

Thanks for the replies. I have been thorough this previously but never so strongly have I felt this anger. I suspect that there is stuff behind it. You know, flashbacks, new others and all that fun stuff.

[WendyLee]

I am angry for being taught in sunday school that god or a religious figure would come help and/or save me if I prayed hard enough..... I am still waiting, and I still am p*ssed!!! I also got ridiculed by my nasty older sister for even talking about church stuff even tho' she went too. Sooooo confusing!

I am glad some people get comfort in their faith, and I have read that to have a comforting relationship with god, most ppl have had at least one loving presence in childhood....no so for me. In fact, except for my 2 DSes that I hold at arm's length, I have never had a healthy adult relationship or close friend.

[The People]

Mosaic when i go through a dark period like I just did I am like you. I feel like he is far away and not listening. But I ask myself when things calm down, who is far away. A friend is of this belief that we are born into the family where we belong for a reason. Unresolved issues from a past life. Crap! I believe that God found ways to help me by leading me to places that helped save me. And people. It makes no sense that he would save one child and leave another. That would be like a parent, who of her own volition pulled one child froma fire and left the other to die. Only crazt, eath bound or below would do such things. God leaves it up to us to help each other. In whatever way we can. I have a friend who worked for social services. She could not save every client but she would pray for them that God would find a way to make life better for them. Did her prayerrs help? They helped her as she felt that she had done all she could.

[nats]

(06-21-2012, 10:35 AM)The People Wrote: ..A friend is of this belief that we are born into the family where we belong for a reason. Unresolved issues from a past life. Crap!

FOO is of this belief - that children choose their parents based on what they need to learn in this life. It's a tough one to argue against as a small child..

[WendyLee]

to us it is just a lot of blame the victim stuff that takes the heat off of the abusers and the horrible society we live in.

we are not praying hard enough.... we chose our foo for a reason... we came here to learn certain lessons agreed upon before birth...

we do not believe it a bit.

we do believe that a few ppl can get glimpses into the future and then they think that they are influencing their lives go get what they saw. Then they tell every one else that we can do it too if we do it their way and sincere enough and often enough... ala the Secret and Law of Attraction and prayer and behavioral modification and meditation etc etc etc. These ppl have never had a hard life so it is easy for them to preach to everyone else.

we think it is a bunch of bunk to sell books and dvds and keep the masses questioning instead of doing more healthy and productive things.

if there is a god I am gonna kick him in the nuts when I see him... along with the rest of my extended foo

[Vivey]

Yikes! I sure as hell didn't deserve the torture inflicted on me by select family members and neither did any of you, dear brothers and sisters. Any theory that says so is a crock! I have a family now who I chose. I am closer to them than my Family of Origin. I am a spiritual being without being the slightest bit religious. I believe in a Higher Power but, due to having suffered a patriarchal, nasty Catholic education, I just can't hack church. I don't even say "God" because I am prone to project effed up authority figures onto just the word. I have instead, HP. I do indeed get mad at HP but that's cool. Expressing it releases it. I just know that I survived many incidents that could have killed me and have been blessed with the family I made. I love the saying, "If you meet the Buddha, kill him." or something like that. I just know that I don't know. Best, Vivey

[The People]

I had forgotten that I wrote this. I was just going to rant on it but I guess a copy and paste would do just as well. My life sucks. I can ask God to help me fix it but I have never been answered in the past (aside from some financial change that helped) but the stuff in my head and in my heart, the loneliness that is so bad my best friend is a stuffed animal. The anger that just explodes. How does one keep from giving up? Yes safe.

[Reilly]

My faith was once very important to me. I wanted my children to develop their faith among kind, hard working, spiritually uplifting people. We attended church weekly and I sent my children to parochial school and I went to work for this diocese as a school counselor. Rather than it becoming a positive influence in our lives it turned into a nightmare. Our faith was twisted into something completely evil. Since learning of my son's torment we have not returned to the church or any church for that matter. Part of me misses my faith and sometimes I still plead for God to help us. So far there has not been a response! Am I angry with God? You bet! How can such abuse of children be tolerated? Why must my child continue to suffer? The older he gets the worse he feels. Our lives devastated due to those who hid behind the church to commit their heinous crimes. I have one question for God. Why???

[Cammy]

Not all churches have anything to with God. So many have strayed so far that I do not attend church anymore. Haven't for decades. I commune with God from my heart and spirit. It is okay to be angry with Him and you have many reasons. But also try to remember who owns and runs this planet...not God. That's why so many terrible things happen all the time - especially to the innocent and the vulnerable.

Igraine

[The People]

I think it all depends on the denomination and the people within the church. I used to like my church but it is time for the pastor to retire. He always tells me I can talk to him but when I get angry he doesn't know how to deal with it so he blames me. Big help. My friend goes to a fundamentalist church and has health issues. They pray over her and when she doesn't heal they blame her. In her head she knows it is crazy and in her heart she wonders if they are right.

Saying that, I have had pastors, some of whom are friends, who are very down to earth and accepting of us and know that the people to blame are well into the past.

[Cammy]

But see People, that is sort of what I mean. To blame someone for having health issues that are not resolved by the prayers given by the church members is kind of wrong somehow, if you see what I mean. It is kind of a negative psychological situation for your friend. It may be doing more harm than good, not the prayers, but blaming your friend for the prayers not working. Now your friend will start doubting herself, the strength of her faith, and this isn't really fair to her. Does it not dawn on anyone that God may not want her healed right now? We are supposed to be here to be "refined, like metal in the fire". Maybe she is supposed to learn something from her health issues. For church members to say that you're not healing and it's your fault is kind of presumptuous - superseding what God's intentions for this individual are...intentions known only to God. It's stuff like this that concerns me and makes me keep my distance from many organized religions. I guess church is just not for everyone. Some churches actually scare me in how they have decided to interpret the Bible. I just don't know People, but I keep searching for the answer and for a church that's right for me.

[nats]

i still think most religion is about other people, not about god at all..