Dealing With Headaches

[Shadows]

We've been getting really bead headaches. I think they are related to stress, or maybe to switching? I'm not sure. But they come on so sudden that there isn't time to take any medicine for them and they really hurt and make us stop in our tracks.

I don't know how to fix them because I don't think they are normal headaches, I think they are the people inside and I don't know how to stop it.

Just wondering if there is any advice.

[The People]

Headaches are commonplace in the multiple community. What has helped me and a lot of hours is giving up some control. As wee got to know our alters, their needs and their want a the headaches disappeared. We still get them sometimes when a memory is surfacing.
Have you tried meditation? It doesn't have to be the fancy stuff. It could be one of those colouring books that are all the rage these days or writing some poetry.
Also, can you track the headaches? When do they come? What were you doing? What was happening when you noticed it was gone? Personally I would take water over Tylenol. I used to go through bottles of the stuff and it did nothing. And some brands are also bad for your stomach. Good luck.

[nats]

agreeing with the People. we used to get those kind of headaches and we couldn't tell if they hurt or not. it always seemed related to something triggery or someone wanting to make a point. as we learnt to listen better we developed better ways of communicating internally and the headaches are largely gone.

[Shadows]

Thank you, both. I am trying to learn to communicate but it is hard because I don't even know everyone, so talking to them is hard, you know? But I am glad to know I am not alone and if I keep working it might get better.

[The People]

Not to scare you but it took us years to meet everybody. Some have still not come out. Two was making friends with a couple of littles, one in particular, but something that I cannot remember happened and they went back inside. just happen

Communicating didn't just happen when we got to know the alters. With some it happened internally but not a lot. It is better now. A suggestion that I had a hard time following through on myself. While it is important to work on your issues and alters, I have learned that it is important to have stuff that takes our focus away from it all. Mindless TV or Facebook games, books in the bath that are strictly mindless mysteries... Our brain needs a rest. And it is like skipping over a question in in an exam because you draw a blank. When you go back to it the space gets filled in more easily.

[Shadows]

Thanks, People.

I am trying to be patient but I find it really hard to not know what is happening inside. I also know that there are some that I don't know and that is hard. Who are they? What are they like? And what if they are terrible? THats what I'm worried about. Some of them are just little kids that like coloring books and is okay, but what about the rest of them?

[nats]

we all have 'terrible' ones. they helped us get through. in terms of survival, terrible can be relative. kids with colouring books don't tend to survive the dark times without help. if they helped us and are part of us then they are not completely terrible. be compassionate with yourselves, as it is sometimes a slow process.

[Cammy]

Just to be safe, you might want to consult a doctor to see if these aren't migraines you are having. I get them a lot when under stress and from other triggers. I usually get migraines from switching. A doctor can give you medication that will rule out if these are migraines or not. If they are, you will want to have proper migraine medication on hand as normal headache formulations including opiates, do not have much impact on migraine.

[Shadows]

Cammy, Thank you. I actually had neurological testing done pre-DID diagnosis as weird stuff was happening and the conclusion was that it was all psychological ... which now wit the DID diagnosis I actually believe might be true. So, I think it is safe to say that the headaches are insiders, I just don't know how to control them or it.

[nats]

hi Shadows, perhaps imagine overhearing someone talk about how to control you? how would you feel? would you instantly want to cooperate? would you perhaps feel resentful or annoyed; maybe question why they think they are in charge of you? now imagine how you would like to be approached and communicated with and what you might like to hear that would encourage you to work with that other person who imagines themselves in charge.

maybe try that approach with them?

[Shadows]

I don't know. I don't know. I just know that for years I was told to try harder to control things and to try harder not to dissociate and now it is hard to think that I'm not the one in control.

I don't know, I don't know how to approach it. I was always told to try to control things.

The idea that I'm not capable of controlling things makes me panic.

[nats]

ok, maybe its not the way to look at it? it's less important whether or not you're able to control things as the fact that trying to control things may be causing more harm than good.

healing involves communicating and negotiating rather than controlling.

[Shadows]

nats, thank you. I'm trying to find the fine line between enough control to hold things together (can't let the little ones drive, you know?) and communicating and respecting my insiders. It is hard. I don't want to be controlling, but I do feel like I have to take responsibility for my actions and I'm trying to balance the pros and cons of everything - having a job, being steady and not homeless - this all has to be important and does seem like it requires control.

I'm trying to be nice to them, I really am. i'm working really hard at it.

[Cammy]

Shadows: I still keep getting a strong feeling that if you used a journal to talk to yourself it might help you immensely. When you write to all your possible internal others, even though you don't specifically know them, you are still communicating with them. Speak to them respectfully as you would want others to speak to you. It may feel strange at first like you are playing a game of having imaginary playmates, but the more you write to them, the more contact you will make with them. Your daily journal could start off with an open letter that simply says, "Hello everyone! How's everyone doing today? I know that you are with me and a part of me, and I just want to let you all know that I acknowledge and respect everyone here. I am always open to listening to your concerns and having your views weighed. I don't want to leave any of you out." With a welcome invitation to communicate like this, even try imagining what the other would be communicating back to you. Even though you may think you are imagining the response, there may be elements of it that are actually coming from your alternates. As time goes by, the individual personalities will become more apparent. The journal is private, so it is a safe place for your alternates to begin to express themselves. Not all of your alters may respond to this method, but the ones that do will give you a way to start understanding them and being able to get to know them. The part of this that you find the most vexatious is the fact that it takes time. It is not something that can be rushed, but I do believe that the journal method will give you some sense of immediate satisfaction and like you are doing something right now that is reaching out to your alters (which in fact it is). Think of it as writing to pen pals far away.

[Shadows]

I started to journal a while back but it felt so scary to see things that didn't feel like they had anything to do with me. I'll try again though because I think it helped. Also I just finished a bunch of work contracts so I have more free time, and I think that will help, too.