We deserve a celebration.

[The People]

There are many women in this world that are the filler without the bread. While people celebrate mothers or being mothers we get to... celebrate ourselves. We are not less than because we do not ave these specific people in our lives Where would we fit them anyway? So for all of us who are made up of ice cream filling or chocolate filling or cheese cake filling, I hope we can all celebrate ourselves today.

[MakersDozn]

Great post. So true.

Today when we were paying for our groceries, the cashier, a woman perhaps in her late fifties, wished us a happy Mother's Day. As matter-of-factly and calmly as we could, we replied, "I'm not a mother." For a nanosecond we were anxious about how she would react, but she simply said, "Well, then have a nice day."

Not everybody is a mother, nor does every woman want to be. Whenever we go to the supermarket, we grab a cart and make sure to buckle the little seatbelt backwards, *behind* the child seat, to make a statement. Of course nobody notices, and we don't expect anybody to notice. But we feel empowered and validated by doing it.

Back to the cashier. This sort of thing also happens to us at winter holiday time, as we again don't fit in with the majority. It bothers us that some people assume that all people fit the same mold, live the same life, and have the same view of what constitutes an act of goodwill. It's simply not so. But we're never going to convince all the well-meaning but narrow-minded cashiers of the world, so we have to find a way to deal with them without getting upset by them.

May all of us, no matter who we are and what choices and circumstances exist in our lives, have a good day.

MDs

[The People]

Being called Mrs. sets me off. At the store, on the phone. Canada is a country of 2 languages which can make things difficult. Many of the feds on front line are french first I got mad once because a young man with a thick accent kept calling me Mrs. I would correct him and he would continue to say Mrs.

A woman I went to school with is i-lingual and she stated that it is respect. That in French there is no word for Ms. My reply to that is that if they are working with the public learning a simple 2 letter word should be easy. If things were reversed the French would be picketing. She stopped speaking to me so I un-friended her. I stand up for what I said. If they are working in a bi-lingual job they should be bi-lingual. Ms. is listed on papers that are in English. Why is it so hard to use that word? But even English people do it. I am in my 50s and therefore it is assumed that I must be married. Why? Hell, half the country is divorced. And many women choose not to marry these days. I shall continue to correct people no matter their culture.

[MakersDozn]

Thanks for validating how we feel. We appreciate it.

One year when we were waiting to have our mammogram done, the tech came out into the waiting room and addressed us as Mrs. We corrected her as you did in your situation. The tech became defensive and insisted that she was just trying to be respectful by not calling us by our first name. We told her that's what "Ms." is for.

Never mind the notion that it's actually *more* respectful of a person's privacy to use the first name rather than the last name when speaking in a waiting room full of people.

MDs

[nats]

we actually like mum's day now. growing up it was a constant embarrassment of a holiday without a mum, but now it's one of the few we can legitimately celebrate.

as for titles - it's such a sexist thing we cannot stand. uk is title obsessed and stupid forms and salespeople always seem to want to know your title - only a few sensible ones default to ms. definitely feels like an invasion of privacy for a north american. we just use 'dr' but now some forms require 'dr - male' or 'dr - female'. seriously stupid, sexist, invasive...

[MakersDozn]

Wow, really, nats? They ask for gender if you use Dr.?

They don't do that in the US.

OTOH, we have no plans on going back to school (hated every moment of it) just to qualify for a gender-neutral title.

MDs