Still the same
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The People Offline
Long Time Member Who grew Up Here
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#1
Angry  Still the same
And then I couldn't sleep. Fell asleep but was awake in the middle of the night. As I watched reruns the theme of doctors came to mind. Why I get so frustrated and angry with them. 20 years with recorded heart murmur before it was followed up on. 39 years of Celiac (well probably 50) and I had to figure that one out myself. I remember when I had the hysterectomy. This stupid woman kept calling OBGyns and giving me pills before I finally got disgusted and went to emerg where they gave me sh*t for not going to my GP. Could have bled to death waiting for her to take action. And on and on.

It occurred to me as I was thinking last night that they have just been reminiscent of my parents when I was a minor. Well, doctors told me everything was in my head while my parents ignored me or worse if I got sick or needed something. That is aside from the sexual abuse. They neglected my health needs. Even my allergies. My brother and sister next older than me got diagnosed with allergies and were given something while my mother would say “every spring Paula gets a cold” and it was only when I moved to FM that I got dxd with allergies. And on and on.

People say I can choose not to be angry. That I can just move forward. But how does one move forward when these things just happen over and over and nobody listens until things go very wrong.

That is what I was thinking about in the middle of the night. Comparing people then and people now when it comes to ensuring that my needs are met. Or not.
I Am My Only Chance For A Hero!
05-02-2015, 07:44 PM
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MakersDozn Offline
MM Oldtimer
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Posts: 1,950
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Joined: Mar 2012
#2
Friendship/Support  RE: Still the same
We hear you, and we're sorry you've had to deal with all of this.

People that say that we can choose not to be angry are missing the point. We feel how we feel, and other people's inability to realize or acknowledge this can feel very invalidating.

Even if people phrased their feedback more accurately by saying that we can choose how we *react* to our feelings, it still doesn't mean that it's easy for us to do so. We can't turn feelings on and off with a light switch or wipe them away with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. It takes time to work through feelings, and because we have so much going on in our lives, we can't simply focus all our energy on one thing. Even if we did, we could end up moving forward faster than we're ready to move.

There's a serious lack of wisdom in society. Most people don't do the introspection and the healing work that folks like us do, so they have no idea how much worse they can make things sometimes. And that's not even counting the people who intentionally hurt us.

We wish we had a better way to deal with things like this. But we can only do what we can do, and try to treat ourselves better than other people have treated us.

Hoping you find peace.

Mary, Allegra, and others
05-03-2015, 11:16 AM
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