On T

[The People]

Things have gone extremely well with this T since we started seeing her last fall. There was adjustment of course but there always is. She has different training and pots of knowledge than other Ts so she takes a different perspective.

We see her every 2 weeks. 7 weeks ago (she had 1 week off for holidays) she suggested that, rather than writing her emails we submit the writing together at every appointment and she would return it at the next one. We gave her the first set. She came back without it and explained that she had decided to do things in a different way and was that OK? HUH? We were too busy trying to figure out if this was a good thing to even take in anything she said about what it would look like. We tried to brush it off and gave her the next set. We saw her on Wednesday and she explained that she was out in charge of moving their offices that was sprung on them all of a sudden and that my stuff was locked in a blocked drawer. Whoever was out accepted this. Moving is hell. Anyone who has moved an office complex... what is worse than hell? She promised to drop things off on Thursday or Friday. We handed in another set.

Grey was out today and between the heat, trouble with the phone and not sleeping well she was cranky. She wrote and asked if our stuff was being dropped off as she promised. Then she emailed again when she realized it was Friday and was rather snarky. Interesting point here. In that last writing we talked about a workshop we went to years ago. The guy didn't believe in labels but what really caught us was his view on people like us and trust. How we never trust anyone completely. We may trust a T more than we trust others but it had to be earned and clients were always waiting for proof of imperfections.

I guess the one watching was Grey which is no surprise. We really like this woman. She is bright and kind and she loves Two. Along with that other job she does the counselling on the side with 3 kids at home, one is a preschooler. She is very busy. So some of us feel like crap for what Grey wrote, she still feels that she has a right to be annoyed and say so. Not "you're fired annoyed but enough to speak her mind. Some of us feel like apologizing but she won't allow it and Two is hiding.

Opinions? She is human with a lot on her plate and is very good to us. We suck at handling broken promises even if they are not earth shattering. As a T she should be able to handle this. Take it in stride. But I, Hannah, feel like sh*t. Thank God Grey signed her own name.

[mosaic]

it's so hard when a T's human frailties impact what goes on in t. we really do want our T to be perfect and never make a mistake. unfortunately, that's not possible and when those imperfections show up it's always unsettling.

we believe your T should be able to handle Grey's frustration - and we also believe it was okay for Grey to voice her frustration. the situation you describe would be frustrating to us if it happened. it is definitely something we would want to talk to t about to work through.

[nats]

agreeing with mosaic.

[angel with wings]

Know how you feel. I have my own set of frustrations with my T. thought about quiting. Sometimes I feel I'm better off without him.

[The People]

Thanks for the feedback. She did drop off our stuff today. And she is overly swamped with work but was very calm about everything. Yes Grey has a right to her perspective but she doesn't have to be so blunt.

[orek]

(08-17-2014, 05:54 PM)The People Wrote: Thanks for the feedback. She did drop off our stuff today. And she is overly swamped with work but was very calm about everything. Yes Grey has a right to her perspective but she doesn't have to be so blunt.

Yo, if Grey wasn't so blunt, would you all have come out and said anything about it? If you're like our upfronters, no effin' way. They'd swallow the doubt and hurt and then that big bad kernel of distrust would grow. I mean, trust is not small sh*te, right? And this is a new T, so you don't know yet if she can be trusted. That's big. And Grey was brave to say something, IMO. But then I get stuck with that job, too. Our upfronters are too chicken sh*te to want to offend ANYone with even a whiff of anger or accountability or whatever. So yeah, it mattered, and I think you should give Grey a break, IMO. I mean she didn't threaten her or get abusive, right? If your T can't handle some honest anger from Grey, then maybe it's good to know now that she ain't up to snuff, whatever snuff is. --davis (w/"orek")