Advise and thoughts please

[Silent Society]

Hi all. I have an issue that I would like some response to if you are able. First a little info about me. I have known I have been multple for about 12 years. Our system has many, well over 100, but not really sure on an exact number as there a parts that also have parts. We are very sporadic on the boards but have been here in the past. It has been a long road for all of us. As the outside one, I have moved from not believing that there were others to accepting and being grateful for their presence as they allowed me to survive.
We have worked with the same T for close to 14 years. The process has been long and painful. Many of the inside ones were very fearful of connection and letting anyone know that they were there. My T has been very supportive and patient.
Our system is functioning better these days, but there is still a lot of work to do to get to a better place. We have been hopeful that work may be able to get done this summer to improve functioning for all.
Not comes to the present issue.
We met with our T this week and a very delicate issue was brought up, new info about one of the bad things that happened. And the T said something VERY stupid. It was along the lines of thinking that may be someone liked what had happened. Everyone is pissed, furious. There are those who are thinking that after all this time, what he really thinks about us was stated.
We are all very upset and not at all sure what to do. It has taken so long for us to get to a place where we are able to talk to the T, but now there are many who do not want to because they are mad at him. Feel like a very important connection has been lost.
Dont know what to do. He has apologized profusely and said that he feels really bad, but not sure how to handle this.
Sorry this is so long. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

[MakersDozn]

First of all, welcome back. Glad to see you.

If what you're describing happened to us, we'd tell the T how we feel and why. And we'd do it as soon as possible.

Hope this helps. We're interested to know how you resolve it.

MDs

[nats]

Hi Silent S, nice to see you. Your anger makes sense. We'd feel angry. We'd also feel like, OK if the guy has been a decent T for 14yrs then that is probably more positive than negative experiences overall. We'd want to talk it through and see if some resolution could be found.

[Tangled Web]

I am agreeing with what the others have said.

But I do have something to add. I have had a T say something like to that me and after the smoke had settled after the big explosion inside was able to hear her explanation of why she said it. Now I cannot speak for T and don't know where he was coming from when he said it, but the T that said to us was coming from the place of telling me that the body might have liked it. Responded to it and that it was a "normal" response. That is what was meant by what she said when she said something like that to me. Maybe that is where he was going with that also. Like I said I don't know....but hope you can work it out with him.

[MakersDozn]

We had the same thought that TW did. But even if something is true on a physical level, it doesn't negate the validity of Silent Society's feelings about the T's comment. It's the emotions, not the bodily response, that are at the heart of the issue.

Of course, folks here at MM realize this. But perhaps Silent Society's T needs to be reminded.

MDs

[Tangled Web]

I agree MDs

[Silent Society]

Thank you all for replying. Was nice to see that you all are still here. I would like to try to visit a little more often than have in the past. When the issue came up, this was the only place that I could go for support. The only person that I currently talk to in 3D about issues regarding being multiple are with the T. Is nice to know that I can come here for support.
I appreciate all of your answers. I did let the T know that we were upset when the comment was made. Tangled web, he did say that he was thinking along the lines of what your T told you about body reactions.
I am meeting with him tomorrow. Will let you guys know how it goes.
Thanks again for the support. Very much appreciated.

Silent s

[Tangled Web]

Glad you were able to say something. . I understand about not being able to talk to anyone about this. The only person we can chat with in 3D is our T also. Oh and an online friend we have. This place has truly been a gift to us.
TW

[Silent Society]

Hi all. Just wanted to give you an update on this situation. we are doing better with T. situation was able to be resolved. Thanks for the support!

[nats]

glad to hear it!