I have the beginning of news

[The People]

I shared my goal of setting up a self help group for multiples with someone; a mentor of sorts, a sorter of clashes between {idiot} and myself when I am ready to quit one of my volunteer jobs, and someone who is working on her P.Hd. I am not sure the nature of her degree but it is something in the humanities. I had asked her if she knew anyone in her large following that would be willing to help and she put her own name forward. This is as far as it has gotten as she had the nerve to tell me on this awful ugly day first real snow day that she is off to Mexico and we will meet when she gets back.

Before I moved to the city I had a friend with DID who warned me of the pathetic amount of support there was in this city. At the time I said "well I will start my own group. My world tipped on its side and the idea fell off. I wrote letters to government and other places. I compared our stats to that of people with schizophrenia and how they had all of these things happening while we had nothing. One FIDIOT sent a verbal response back that said "Schiz Society and supports came about because their families got involved. Perhaps you should get your family to help." I was so overwhelmed by the stupidity of the remark that I cried out of exasperation. Even the messenger knew what a stupid remark it was but she was just doing her job.

Part of it came from all that I wrote here asking about friendships and supports. Part of it just never went away.

The goal for the yet to be named group will be to focus on the present not to live in the past. That is for therapy. It will be the opportunity to connect with like minded others and to find ways to make life better for ourselves. We will not deal with people who are constantly suicidal; touch on it to look at ways of avoiding it perhaps but cannot and will not try to constantly rescue individuals in that state. Not my job and if someone keeps coming in just to talk about that I would have empathy but not the desire or the time to work with it. Some people may use that as a way of being the centre of attention and others (like me) might tend to be rescuers so we will have to deal with that.

If flashbacks come up we will discuss ways of coping with them. Writing, talking one on one with T or other... Trying to top each other re who has had the worst childhood is not the goal. And I will constantly remind them of this if the flashbacks keep coming up.I will use a lot of the rules that we have at MM. If people want to vomit up the past there are special rooms where they can go but it is not part of the every day. People talk about stuff that only another multiple or someone who works with them will really understand. And we create an online connection because that is the only place where we feel truly understood.

It will be like MM in 3D. People will be allowed to share anxiety and ask questions about "is this normal" and share ups and downs but it will not be a therapy group. I am not qualified and work on the past belongs in the therapy room.

I just told a friend about it. I think I would like to have one meeting a month that is support and one where we go out and do something fun as a group whether it is tobogganing or a movie or just something where people can get out in numbers to feel safe but still have fun.

So that is that. I just got co-facilitator's reply this morning and nothing will happen before the new year. But I finally feel as if I am going in the right direction. We will have a screening and referral process but that is not developed yet. Nothing is. Just the fact that it is going to happen. Have no idea how to find these future group members (well I have a few) but I know they will come. Even if we start small.

Feedback and suggestions welcomed.

[mosaic]

how exciting! we look forward to updates on this

[The People]

(11-16-2013, 07:15 PM)mosaic Wrote: how exciting! we look forward to updates on this

Thanks Mosaic.

[nats]

sounds like a great idea!

[MakersDozn]

Wow, great work. Way to go.

Is that graphic with the hands going to be the group's logo?

This whole endeavor is exciting to see unfolding. We're rooting you on and eager to hear more.

MDs

[The People]

MD we have not decided on a logo or anything else. We have just decided that we are going to do it. I have already decided on some things like: it will not be a place where we deal with the past as that is for therapy room and we are not Ts, people who have chronic need to talk about SI issues are not ready for group. We can brainstorm ways in which we have coped with is (never met a multies who has never had one of those days but that is the only way we will deal with it. I would like to do small group as well as large group work. Meet 2x monthly, once for talking and once for activity based issues whether it is going to a movie with coffee afterward or just coffee or tobogganing... fun things where there is just normal human interaction.

one thing that some people here may not agree with is that people will use the body name no matter who shows up for group. The purpose is to focus on living an everyday life and sticking with one name (or nickname) is how we act in public places. Perhaps a frontrunner might decide that they will always go but they still have to use the name they use at work or church or whatever... make sense? In T we go by whoever is out but this is not T. It is a way of connecting with people. And yes there will be time for littles. None of the what and when will be worked out but... we shall see.

[nats]

think this makes a lot of sense.

[SilentNoMore]

I hate to raise the obvious, practical, question, but what is the geographical base for this group? Where will the "outings" take place? Or am I mis-understanding the concept?

[Marley]

could be triggering

hi
as a newbee, this is the 1st thread we read.
1st, we are non American and live in a place were FMS is the professional mantra. (will intro in other forum)
several years ago, we had a very similar vision. the only thing that came close was a 'childhood trauma' group which quickly spiraled into a my self harm is better than yours etc stuff
an unofficial spin off was a MPD (as it was then) group with "I have more alters than you" etc disaster
So, isolated and disheartened, we had a vision of a "healthy" (no better word, sorry) group focussing on positives and strategies to negotiate the singular world. Faught and lobbied and sunk lots of $$$ (which we didn't have) and passion and energy finally recieved not for profit status and (eventually) gvt funding. Things went well until a mole got in. Being not for profit, the mole was able to gain control, change the constitution and with friends embezzle funds. Unfortunately, the mole was extrememy manipulative and gained enough know-how to leave our name on enough things so when things went wrong (had been expelled a long time & no longer a member) it was our reputation that was swamp water.
We knew the mole was trouble, but could not exclude under the inclusive nonjudgmental rules.

Don't know how you will screen, as you can not officially diagnose, and self declared has its problems.

we admire you for your vision, and hope you will find a safe way of making it happen.

Thanks for reading

[Marley]

(12-02-2013, 01:07 AM)SilentNoMore Wrote: I hate to raise the obvious, practical, question, but what is the geographical base for this group? Where will the "outings" take place? Or am I mis-understanding the concept?

hi SilentNoMore
you have got a good point.
is this going to be attached to a community centre (their insurance) or
an independent venture in a home town?
or in virtual reality/cyberspace?
Marley