Fed up

[Blue]

I am so feed up of bein in this body!! I want out!! I'm feed up of Lookin like this when inside I look totally different. An I'm feed up of people being frightened of me an being so misunderstood.

[MakersDozn]

We totally hear you, Blue. We don't have a host. The body is 51. The oldest insider is 25. Only Laura (17 1/2) identifies with the body (except for its age, of course).

Are you a guy or a girl? How old are you? It's okay if you don't want to answer. But there are 47 of us inside so there's sure to be someone in here with us who's your age.

Various MD teens

[Blue]

Makersdozn,
I'm 22 on mon 12th Aug. I'm female an I'm lost.I'm stuck in this f***in body that's not me own an I just wanna get out an do me own thing. The woman I'm inside is quite good at negotiating an let's me stay out for half the day. But it's not enough. I wanna live me own life. She is too panicy to go anywhere on her own, whereas I wanna explore an I wanna ave a job. We have little uns an all. An they're not learning Cos Angel is too f**¢*d up. We have 5 insiders at the moment. Lila is 7, but I don't know how old the blocker is as she don't talk an I don't know how old the devil guy is as he is too rude. Angel is 30. sh*t happened to her an that's Y we're here, but hey let's not get into that right now. Anyway, thanks 4 ur support. Blue.

[MakersDozn]

Hi again Blue,

Hey, we also have a lila who's 7. She doesn't talk either....Oh, wait, you said that the blocker doesn't talk. Sorry, got mixed up for a moment. Our lila keeps to herself most of the time, or stays near her sisters. She has a protector dog on the inside.

We've got some rude ones too. Or at least they like to think that they're rude. We think that our rude ones use the rudeness to shield themselves. But that's just us.

Various MD teens (speaking as a group....or as the kids would say, a "blob" of teens)

[Blue]

Lila likes to draw an colour in. we see dogs too. All different breeds. We see them as protectors. They've always been good. We try to reward Lila for not cutting. Any ideas on the reward to give? I.e. we let her play on the swings.

[MakersDozn]

Hi Blue,

Glad to hear that you encourage Lila to stay safe.

Just wanted to bring one thing up here. If people need to talk about triggering topics like self-harm, it's best to use a spoiler, which gives people a chance to back out of reading further. You can add a spoiler by highlighting the words you need to spoil, and then clicking the square "A" symbol.

If it's about self-harm in a general sense (like what you're talking about), that should take care if it. If someone wanted to talk about feeling urges to self-harm, they would need to state that they are safe.

Anyway, just FYI. Thanks for telling us more about yourselves.

MDs

[Blue]

Thanks makersdozn. i don't quite understand about this spoiling thing though. Where is this "A" button? Sorry to be a pain.

[Blue]

Yo. Don't worry, i found the "A" symbol!!

[MakersDozn]

We're glad that you found the button, Blue. And we hope that things are going well with your Lila.

MDs

[Blue]

Cheers MDs. Lila is improving all the time. But she is very scared all the time. Of people in general. Especially men. She is even scared of our host's partner, Antonio. I don't know how to stop her bein so afraid. Whenever she comes out and he is around she just cries and curls up in a ball. I've tried to tell her he is a good man but she won't take it in.
Cheers, Blue.

[MakersDozn]

We're glad that Lila is improving. We hear your frustration about how she reacts to Antonio. It's hard to see other insiders struggle in their healing process.

Does Lila have an inside safe place that she can go to when Antonio is around? Maybe she can go there until she feels safer around him.

MDs

[Blue]

We have an internal room but she hates stayin in there. Probably cos the Devil Guy is in there an he is bad. He's bein restrained in there but says very hurtful things constantly. Lila has a deep desire to be in the body ya see. She has a very troubled past an is quite f***ed up. Cheers tho. - I'll put it to her that maybe the room isn't quite so bad cos she don't have to deal wit Antonio in there, an it's a familiar place.

[MakersDozn]

Maybe you and Lila can build a new room together! And make it look the way she likes in her favorite color and lots of safe stuff. And that mean guy is not allowed in.

Joseph and other kids

[Tangled Web]

That is a great idea! I had to do that for one of my inside lils and it worked beautifully. Now she has her own special safe place just for her.
tangled

[Blue]

Yo cheers makersdozn. I ave heard of this kind of thing before but i don't know how to put it into practise. Someone else suggested Lila do a collage of everything she wants in the room, but it didn't materialise. How do i build? Or is it our host who has to create it?
Blue.