Amnesia Barrier out of the blue

[Cammy]

I'm safe. I am also very upset right now. I don't cry easily or often, but I just found a post that I wrote and have ZERO memory of writing it. Try as I might, I just have No Memory of it.

I thought I was past all of this. I haven't experienced an amnesia barrier for years. I really thought I was doing well and all that stuff and now this. Does this ever end? Does this ever stabilize? What the hell happened here? Anyone probably reading this is probably shrugging and thinking "What IS her problem? This isn't a big deal. Happens all the time." But right now I am good and shocked, and upset, and plain pissed off, and for me at this moment it IS a big deal. I really thought I was years past this happening to me again. Well Dorothy, I guess you're not in Kansas anymore except you didn't know it. All I can do now is pick Toto up in my arms and see if I can find my way to Oz.

Frack!!!

[Tangled Web]

I can understand the shock and the upset. It is hard when "old" habits or (sorry can't seem to find the word) maybe it is coping...... are sitting there right in front of your face when you thought you were so beyond that point.
I just want to say that I can understand it being triggering for you, and it is ok to sit with the feelings of shock and anger or disappointment or whatever you are feeling. BUT after you are done sitting in that try to remember that just because this has happened, it doesn't mean that all the work you have done over those years is gone. Breaking that amnesia barrier is a very difficult thing to do, and for me every once in awhile it comes back but it doesn't come back like it did before, but it throws me too every time it does.
There was a post I read and I am not sure if it was you who wrote it or if someone who responded to one of your posts wrote it but it rang so true for me in times like this. Instead of looking at this as a step back maybe if you tried to look at it as just a step side ways........I love that concept, thinking about things that way. So you have taken a step side ways right now and as triggering as it all can be, I have faith that you will find your way back to Kansas.
TW

[Cammy]

Hi TW: Thank you for replying to my post. We really appreciate it. I like the idea of a step sideways. Sideways is okay. It's not backwards, but it still acknowledges that SOMETHING has happened - it's not the same as denial or trying to ignore the incident. So I'm going to embrace the sideways concept. Thank you for bringing it to my attention...makes this incident easier to cope with. Igraine.