residential treatment

[Reilly]

Hi everyone.
Feeling really down and scared and could use your support. My son has become increasingly angry and destructive. It became so bad that my mother filed a restraining order and police showed up and ordered us to leave our home within ten minutes. We are in a local hotel for now. I believe he requires a psychiatric stay as well as residential treatment in order to learn coping skills. I hope he can be helped. I am starting to discover that one of his parts might be responsible for editing photos and sending harassing emails. I am so confused! I don't know how much of his history is real and how much is from his own possible delusions. I am really scared. He has never been away from home and I want him to be safe. This is the toughest thing I will ever have to do ( I hope ).
Has anyone here ever been to a inpatient facility? Were they able to help? What do you think I can expect? I don't want him drugged and magically cured within a few weeks. I want real treatment for him.
Please keep us in your thoughts. We don't have much of a support system currently but I am hoping if my son gets the help he requires we will be able to resume a healthy lifestyle.
I wish I could make him feel better myself but I can't!

[nats]

hi Reilly,
sorry, we don't know much about inpatient facilities. guess it depends a lot on the facility. we're thinking of you and your son and hoping he can find what he needs.

[jamdjohnson]

It does depend on the inpatient facility. I hope he will get the help he needs. I know I have wished I could go to an inpatient facility several times. It is a good opportunity to be able to just focus on healing and not worry about so many other worries. Again- I'm sure its like anything. There are awesome ones and some not so awesome ones. Good luck.

[Reilly]

Thanks for your input.
I had a lovely crisis worker come and speak with us. She explained that sadly there were no beds available in any of the inpatient facilities. Then from one Social Worker to another, she admitted that the kids play video games and watch TV in these places and rarely get the therapy they desperately require. She worked to get us outpatient counseling (we went yesterday for the intake) and an intensive home based therapy program that comes three to four times per week. She felt this would be a great benefit to my son and our family.
He is not doing well currently. He is very depressed and angry. This part of him only wants to go "inside to rest" but the others are blocking him from doing so. Perhaps they are afraid of him or simply want him to cope with his issues. I am not sure.
It is a daily struggle as you all know. He had been doing fantastic for a while. Then all of a sudden it was this downhill spiral. I hope he will be helped and that we can live a calm productive life.
Thanks for your support!

[nats]

sounds like a good way forward. wondering, if this one wants to go inside and rest and is being blocked from doing so, is it possible to ask why he's being blocked? might be helpful to know.

[finlyalive]

It is awesome that your son has your support and willingness to help. It looks like you will have even more support with home-based therapy. Hope it gets better for you soon.

[MakersDozn]

Reilly,

We're sorry that your son is going through such a difficult time. We hope that the help provided by the crisis worker will make things better for him. Good luck.

MDs

[Cammy]

I'm thinking that maybe it was a bit of good fortune that no beds were available. Intensive home based therapy sounds very useful and probably much more productive. I'm sorry that his anger has made you lose your place to stay...that is so terribly unfortunate. At least for now he is still getting immediate care. That at least is a positive. Time will give a better picture of what is happening here. I hope you will at least get some answers soon.

[The People]

We first went inpatient in the 80s and when there was no alternative. It was helpful but was also a court of last resort. We had many visits; often felt like we were being babysat but in a way that is what we front runners needed. For someone else to be responsible for us so that we bigs could rest for a night or a week.

Times have changed however. With cutbacks inpatient 'treatment' is a joke. I have a friend whose son is in outpatients for a different dx and has done well with this form of support. He is calmer and as a result they are more of a family.

I cannot imagine what a child would be like having to go through this. (Well I do because I have a lot of angry teens) I forget how old he is but he is facing all of the changes a monomind child faces - hormonal changes etc. And what makes him stand out from the other kids. But if he is multiple he is also bright. Help him to use that as a weapoin rather than anger. So easy I know. Flick a switch! As if right! However, he needs to know that he is extraordinary and not just different.

As for the computer stuff, both of you need to know he could be charged for this. You can put parental locks on it. If he figures it out you have the option of taking it away from him. I hear the words "only friend" in my head. However, no matter how old we are, what we struggle with how bad life sucks we need to know that along with privileges we also have consequences. He needs to learn this. Not to scare you but kids get charged for this stuff. Maybe find someone in kids crime until to explain the seriousness of this to him. Not boot camp but as a friend. Or someone from a kids support network. Lots of kids do stupid things on the computer. He needs to know that it is no more fair than what he live through. The one who is doing these things (or might be) would most likely listen if it means their protection from or weapon against the world could be taken away because of what they are doing.

I admire your perseverance. Yes he is your son and you love him but it must be so hard to keep fighting. Many parents don't. I do hope you have support for you as well. A professional. Whether it be a T or a pastor or whatever works for you, support for you gives you more to give to him. Without that you will burn out IMNSHO. Take care of you. All the best with him and I mean that in the sincerest of terms.

Gabriel