Thearpist telling about herself in Thearpy

[Deee6]

Okay so I think this is the right place to ask these kinds of questions. If not I am really sorry.

Our T is a wonderful person and I do like going to see her every week. Well sometimes the others do not but that is another question.

Anyway We were VERY upset about some past junk and feeling lower than low. When all of a sudden Our T tells us about something really personal in her life that was kind of the same. I was kind of shocked because she never did something like that before. I just acted like I did not really understand what she said and continued crying. Now I feel horrible. What should I have done? It really just caught me off guard. Now I am feeling bad, sorry, frightened for our T. Any Advice on how to handle this?

[Tangled Web]

HI Deee6.
I think you should talk to her about it when you see her next time. I don't think she was telling you those personal things about her life because she wanted you to be there for her......imho......I think she was telling you those things because she wanted to let you know that you weren't alone and maybe help you see that there is an end to it and that how you were feeling at the moment would pass eventually. I don't exactly know.......but that is what I would hope the reason would be for her telling you those things. My T has told me things also and I panicked at first also because boundaries have always been very important to me, but she gave me the opportunity to ask some questions and she explained to me the reason why she was telling me those things was to help me see................and it did help me.
So if you had time to think about it and process what she has told you and see if it did help you deal with the in the situation you were in.......maybe you can tell her if it was helpful to you or not.
Tangled

[Deee6]

Yes I do think you are right about her telling me to let me know I can get thru it. I did not respond like I wish I had. I am almost afraid to bring it back up. She is awesome and I will see how next visit goes. Thanks for your reply. It helps to just talk things thru.

[Tangled Web]

Well maybe you can tell her that you did not respond the way you wanted too....I can understand though waiting to see how things go and not wanting to bring it up.....I have been there too many times to count.

[Deee6]

Hi Tangled, I am just curious on what your picture under your name says? I cannot read it. I love the picture.

[Tangled Web]

Thanks. It says......
Nobody is perfect, and nobody deserves to be perfect.
Nobody has it easy, everybody has issues.
You never know what people are going through, So pause before you start judging, criticizing or mocking others.
Everybody is fighting their own unique war!

[orek]

(07-01-2012, 09:38 PM)Deee6 Wrote: Yes I do think you are right about her telling me to let me know I can get thru it. I did not respond like I wish I had. I am almost afraid to bring it back up. She is awesome and I will see how next visit goes. Thanks for your reply. It helps to just talk things thru.

I agree with tangled web re: your T's probable intention. You're not meant to "take care of" her. But the fact that it was so confusing and felt so threatening boundary-wise is exactly why good T's are extremely careful and hesitant about when and if to share personal stuff. Your reaction and feelings are perfectly normal! I also agree that you might want to talk to her about it, let her know that you feel you "blew" your chance to react "better"--which I do NOT agree with but is the feeling I get from your post. She can both reassure you that she does not need you to react a particular way for her benefit and also help to unravel all the various threads that are tying you into a knot over this. I truly understand your reaction! Please believe it makes sense, and you have not done anything wrong. Take care--orek

[The People]

(07-14-2012, 01:08 PM)orek Wrote:

(07-01-2012, 09:38 PM)Deee6 Wrote: Yes I do think you are right about her telling me to let me know I can get thru it. I did not respond like I wish I had. I am almost afraid to bring it back up. She is awesome and I will see how next visit goes. Thanks for your reply. It helps to just talk things thru.

I agree with tangled web re: your T's probable intention. You're not meant to "take care of" her. But the fact that it was so confusing and felt so threatening boundary-wise is exactly why good T's are extremely careful and hesitant about when and if to share personal stuff. Your reaction and feelings are perfectly normal! I also agree that you might want to talk to her about it, let her know that you feel you "blew" your chance to react "better"--which I do NOT agree with but is the feeling I get from your post. She can both reassure you that she does not need you to react a particular way for her benefit and also help to unravel all the various threads that are tying you into a knot over this. I truly understand your reaction! Please believe it makes sense, and you have not done anything wrong. Take care--orek

[Elizabethn]

I'll add my vote to the idea that your T was trying to show empathy and make a connection with you. Therapy relationships have very different rules and boundaries from social relationships, and those need to be learned. (Heck, lots of T's spend YEARS learning that stuff and still mess up at times!)

I'd like to encourage you to bring up the subject at your next session and to say that you didn't understand what was going on. If I were in your shoes, I'd want to know exactly what she meant by sharing that stuff, and then I'd want to talk about the feelings it brought up.