taking back your power

[Tangled Web]

This seems to be the discussion in T lately. I think I am finally starting to see what that means. That is when I feel like me and the "others" aren't so close that messes my thinking all up all over again. I realize that I am an adult now and is very much capable of making my own decisions and creating my own boundaries. It is like a light bulb came on in my head and I see where I have been and how far I have come. I get to choose now what I want and who I want to be. I am learning.

The problems I have is trying to learn these things while the "others" are stuck somewhere in the past and living by the "old" rules that were repeatedly drilled into their heads. I don't know how to bring them into this present or help them feel that they also can have the power to make boundaries and make their own choices. It feels like a constant fight all the time, a constant life lesson that doesn't feel like any ground is being gained. It is exhausting.

I feel I have a grasp on this and then I feel it slips away and admist everything that is going on I think..... wait a minute what happened to the confidence I just had and the power I just felt, and the boundaries I just made? It is like it just disappears and I end up feeling like a child who HAS to do this and that.......It is so easy to slip back into the old ways of dealing with things and get lost in them before you realize what is happening, then there is the fight to get back to where you were before you got lost in the all stuff within you.

I guess I am wondering if it gets any easier. And what do others do if you have ever experienced this....
Thanks for reading
Tangled

[mosaic]

i so identify with what you are describing. it was that way for so long. for us it's a little better now -

a lot of my insiders did individual work with the t we had in colorado and it helped them to learn that the present has different "rules"... that doesn't mean they stopped responding as though it's back then and not now ... but they aren't as forceful and maybe that's because of the strength i gained in recognizing the present? i don't know.

i think i learned to do some acknowledging to them... to validate their fear/anger/hurt etc... so that they weren't experiencing everything as though they were on their own - sort of letting them know that i can handle life and take care of them... i don't think i'm expressing myself well enough here but don't know what other words to use.

a lot of it i guess is influenced by system structure level of coconsciousness etc as well. what worked for us may not work for someone else. as MDs so aptly say, YMMV.

[Tangled Web]

I think I am understanding what you are saying here. In T we were talking about her working with the others and me watching what happens so I can increase my knowledge, co-consciousness. I am not sure how that will all work but I am willing to try. I do agree that acknowledging them will help in so many ways and hopefully they will feel less alone.
It is hard because I feel I have to convince them that I am able to handle things now and that I am stronger than I used to be.......especially when I feel unsure of this myself. How can convince them of this when I have no idea what they know and how I will handle learning about it. Like I have the jist of some of it but I don't know details or have any feelings attached to it at all. I am just taking a leap of faith I guess.....and need to go slow.

PS I have no idea what YMMV means.
Thanks for responding
Tangled

[mosaic]

(06-20-2012, 12:51 PM)Tangled Web Wrote: PS I have no idea what YMMV means.
Thanks for responding
Tangled

Your Mileage May Vary

[Tangled Web]

(06-20-2012, 02:38 PM)mosaic Wrote:

(06-20-2012, 12:51 PM)Tangled Web Wrote: PS I have no idea what YMMV means.
Thanks for responding
Tangled

Your Mileage May Vary

Awwwwwww Thank you!
Tangled

[Tangled Web]

You know what!!!!!! Just had to post this......I AM OK!!!!!!!!! and I will continue to be ok!!!!!!!

Wow so much has shifted and changed.......like light bulbs are going off all over the place.
YAY YAY YAY YAY. I am learning!