Living with Monominds

[The People]

For a week and a half now I have been staying with Monomind friends while I find a place. They have 2 dogs and a cat, all wonderful. As are the friends, a couple we have known for over 20 years. Their three kids are all in college.

We are finding that we are enjoying the routine of sharing their space (most of the time) their pets and meals. It is nice to have someone to talk to. I know that we would get on each others nerves and it will not become a long time thing. But I never knew how alone I felt until I wasn't any more. The plan is to stay here until I find a place through low income housing. I don't want to be here until they feel imposed upon and it affects our friendship. I just never thought I would enjoy sharing space with people again.

[nats]

we also really miss being around people but need our own space at times. ideally, something communal, where we had our own room/flat as well, would be what we'd want. not sure if that exists, except maybe some expensive retirement communities...

[The People]

There have been people over here who have created communal living in the city as well as in the country. In the US a woman converted her house into such a place. She stated that it was so nice to be able to just buzz someone when you are out of sugar. I envision building such a place when I win the lottery. Meanwhile...

[nats]

it does sound nice. not sure how it would be in reality, but seems preferable to always feeling somewhat alone..

[The People]

Somewhat? I hate this city and almost always feel alone. Hubby brought up the idea of my move time (which is up in the air) as their daughter and her SO are coming for a visit. And I am sure they want their own space back.

Suddenly I am sad about moving out. I don't think I even realized how lonely I have been since I stopped working. I do want my own space but... feel kind of teary eyed but I don't want them to know that I feel upset. I also asked her to write a letter for me for the low income place to confirm that this is a temporary situation.

[Cammy]

Being around people seems to stabilize my personality system. Left alone, I start to 'bounce' a bit. I don't know why this is the case, possibly because being around others somewhat forces me to hold onto the host personality more strongly in order to present a more stable front. If it is people I am comfortable around, it is not a strain on me. It is when I am forced to socialize outside of my home, such as in a work environment, that the stress of presenting a static personality begins to wear on me. All in all, however, I do find monominds a little bit exasperating outside of the people who know what I am. It partly has to do with the fact that we seem to share nothing in common either intellectually or in our backgrounds. Can't explain it any further than that. Fact is, I live with only one monomind, my mom. My husband is a multi-mind as well, but he is new to this realization so requires a lot of support and guidance. This I do not seem to mind.

[nats]

we're a bit similar. alone too long and we start to bounce and comfortable people help ground us. may be something to do with our level of introversion/extroversion or something else.

[The People]

We are the opposite. We bounce too. But don't do well when people visit us. We feel judged. The house is never perfect so... perfectionism is an all or nothing thing. When we are out we talk peoples ear off or pull into the shadows depending on the day.

[Cammy]

People: oooo yes...the perfectionism trap. I suffer from that affliction too. My house is always a disaster, at least in my mind, and it has prevented me from having anyone over for, well, most of my life. Clutters, dust bunnies, and stuff like that mortifies me. I don't want people to judge me by what they see in my house. I am in a state of constant shame about the state of my house. And, let's face it, no sooner do you clean it all up, and you can just as well start over again because things get dirty/cluttered all over again. It's a vicious cycle for me. My perfectionism prevents me from starting projects because I am so afraid they won't be perfect, and that thought paralyzes me right from the get go. Lately I have been working on 'just doing it', which means just forge ahead regardless of the outcome and fix the rough spots later, but it's not easy to do with the perfectionism mindset. It's like everything I do HAS to be perfect, or it becomes a reflection of me. I keep thinking about that saying that you're only as good as your worst piece of work, and that thought can be crippling, especially to the creative process.

[The People]

Igraine I am watching The Voice right now. Many people hate these shows but I find them to be inspiring. All of those people going after their dreams. It encourages me to chase mine. I like this show the best because people are screened prior to coming onto the show. But even the most horrid singers in my ars on other shows are doing so much. They think they can sing and even if the rest of the world doesn't they don't care. They sing, or juggle or dance... It inspires me that people take such chances. Inspires me with my writing.
Alicia Keys is on this season. I absolutely love her. But the surprise is Miley Cyrus (IMO). She is a great coach and I think that this show and Alicia will help her grow. It is great.

I threw out so much stuff when I moved last time as my whole building was filled with bugs. Tonight I bought some inexpensive stuff that makes it better. That is what we need to do. Little stuff.