RIght or wrong I feel guilty

[The People]

I made friends with a guy a couple of years ago. Nothing intimate. We would help each other out with stuff. He paid me for some stuff and I would do computer stuff for him. Last summer he found a small truck he wanted to by He called and I took money out of a LOC and gave it to him. I had it back in a few days. Then his insurance was due and he promised he would get it back to me right away but he didn't. It took a month. Because of the kind of work he does he didn't get paid on time.

Tonight he called and said he couldn't do a favour I had asked. And then he told me how the woman he was working for didn't pay for the job and could I loan him $40-$50 to get back and forth to work. This time I said no. And I don't have the money. I cannot keep rescuing him.

But still I feel guilty. The go to person for money in the family was me for years and years. I always gave in. But I know what it is like to have nobody to go to.

The guy has cars though. Valuable cars. He spends every cent on them. He could easily sell one and settle his affairs but he doesn't.

God I hate when people do this to me. Well, I know it says I allow it but why do I end up with these replicas of my family in my life who take and take and then feel like sh*t when I cannot give anymore.

[nats]

sounds like you're choosing to take care of yourself instead of someone else. no surprise you feel guilty if this is your pattern, but well done anyway! own that guilt. most people who rely on other's kindness quickly find a replacement.

[The People]

Thanks Nats. he did find help. Then he came and gave me some money because I said I had none. I will put the amount aside so if h asks again I will be able to explain where it came from. A cookie jar thing. And my T and PDoc were of the same opinion as you.

[orek]

Kudos to you, People! It's hard to break a pattern, even when it harms us. Way to go, and I'm glad it turned out okay. You can put that in your memory bank for the next time you feel pressured to do something that goes against self-care.