needing some information

[Tangled Web]

It frustrates me also not to have clarity. I like it when my mind is clear and my thoughts make sense. I can do something with that, this what is happening now just makes things a mess. URG!

I am not sure how I feel about integration. I thought that was what happening but it wasn't (I don't think)and I must admit I was glad. I was very panicked.
I am not sure if I explain it.........
I have been working with T and it was decided in order to heal she needed to hear the others stories and have them express their feelings. Well I hit a wall. A total disconnection. And instead of banging my head against that wall, I decided to try to help the person with our body name. Her and I usually work pretty well together and she was someone who I actually have access to. So I was sharing space with her. That space started to blend and it felt like I stepped into her. What comes to my mind as trying to describe it is a scene from the movie Ghost. When Patrick Swayze stepped into Whoopie Goldberg, only thing it was like it was other way around for me. The space I shared with our body's name blurred and became one and I saw and felt a lot. Too much actually..............And now I find some how her thoughts can invade mine and confuses me because they feel like my thoughts.
Also like I said I don't normally have feelings. Well I have twinges of feelings.....well I am not sure that is entirely sure either. Well lets just say I don't cry. I don't feel the whole emotion and one day a tear fell out of my eyes. It freaked me out. Feelings are messy to me and confuse things and don't make sense to me. So that is what happened, and I am curious if anyone else has ever experienced something like this?


Emma