Panic Attack

[Tangled Web]

I think I have had my first ever fully blown panic attack. I was getting my apartment ready for my sister to come visit and was texting with my friend about not wanting my sister to come. Something was said about boundaries and how I could ask her to leave if I wanted to. Well I could never do that and was trying to explain why, because she was family. Then all of a sudden I couldn't breathe, my heart literally felt like it was going to jump right out of my chest. I felt trapped and suffocating. I don't remember what happened next. She came and left........But I realized so much after she had left. I panicked because she was bringing my past into my house. I had gotten rid of everything that reminded me of my past and there she was bringing it back in just having her as a presence in my place. It was like it was contaminated again. So many things fell into place for me though and I am finally starting to have things make some sense in my life again. Just wish that didn't have to happen to realize the things I had to see. It was horrible!
Tangled