Controlling who comes out?

[Downtherabbithole]

I know why they come out, T says its their way of protecting system but not in a traditional sense of protection. Their protection leaves system weak n vulnerable because shuts down n cant fight back when needed. Instead looses senses n then blacks out into ragdoll. I guess controll is a bad word. What I'm trying to ask is is there a way to stop a vulnerable part coming out or asking someone else to come out or even. I've heard one person say when doing adult things that protect children from coming out. But I'm not sure how that works or if can be applied for being around ppl who can shut system down n know it (and have purposely tried n succeeeded before), in order to make it so he can no longer do so, thus taking back the power that he holds over me n has stripped away from me from his manipulations n actions. I don't want to be haunted by this man who knows my weakness. My kryptonite. Or as in vampire diaries vervain is a good example of what hope to do. No I know I'm not a vampire but talking of weaknesses it gave me idea. Say someone crossing boundaries or getting too close, hitting on me is my vervain so to speak, it weakens me n leaves me vulnerable. Or being in crowds or around certain people does the same thing. Like in the show some ingest vervain lil at a time to build immunity to it. Then if someone tries to attack them with it they are not so weakened by it. They can protect themselves. That's what I wanna do. But if I don't know how to protect weaker parts from overtaking I'm just not sure if can build a tolerance to this man or if he tried something to be able to stay grounded n to be able to protect self n system properly from further harm. Not just 'protect' system of knowledge of further harm. Control is a bad word I should of said to guard or protect weaker ones from being hurt any further. Not sure if made sense. As for function, well I think that it's bit much to ask for first time back with him there. Ill tell friend I can't stay for lunch but compromise n pop next door to say hi.
On note bout vervain apparently its actually a true plant also called herb of cross or verbana and supposed to treat anxiety, stress and nervous tension and have anti depressive quakities which I find slightly humorous seeing being using it with an analogy about panic anxiety n dissociation. Go figure.