Should I face him?

[Downtherabbithole]

I haven't been able to stop thinking bout this when I'm not busy. Too busy while at work to think of anything but work so its usually outside of it. I'd been thinking yeah I can do this. I can do this. But if he spoke to me I'm not sure how I'd cope. But I realised something. He won't be in the main service cause he'd be leading youth service in the other building with the other leaders. It's only if I tried to go see my friend who also works in youth service just younger kids. She doesn't know any of what happened. But she know at least some of other trauma before him. If I went to the service but left from main building n stayed out of other building I could face him at a distance. Build up tolerance to him by facing the lesser fear first. The place surrounding the trauma with him, the church( n some of the ppl who were less than kind to me, partly cause of yp lies bout me looking for attention. I don't need to stay after for tea or coffee cause he's likely to eventually make his way to the social area. N if friend wanted to meet I could say ill catch up with u at local cafe or something. I could build up to being in same room