messed up

[Tangled Web]

I do understand what you are trying to say here nats.
The problem is separating those perceptions...............
The rules on how we were taught to live in this world have been deeply engrained in our head for many years even including our adult years.
It is ALL we know
so that is why it so hard to separate those perceptions.
Plus the fact that we have know this T for what a year now and have known my mother for over 40 years.
And to add the cherry on top....here is the real kicker for us..........I found a place of trust with our new T (something that was always forbidden) but I went there because I wanted to heal.......and this is what has happened. Try to imagine how loud my mothers words are right now in my head. And how I went and proved her right on all those lessons we learnt about trusting people other than your family.
Things are so NOT good at the moment.........I can't find my way out of this.......
TW