messed up

[nats]

it makes perfect sense that your people would react the way they have. what we're trying to say at the same time is that her reasons are presumably different from your mum's. we're not saying this makes her actions OK, but just that it's something for all of you to keep in mind as your processing this. she did something that upset you, but that does not necessarily mean that she's unsafe. what might be good is to write and explain to her that you were upset by her actions b/c it reminded you of how your mum used to act. that is a valid thing to say. depending on her response you could then discuss the reaction to her personally and how some of you no longer consider her safe and that she crossed a line.