messed up

[Tangled Web]

It definitely has something to do with the phrase pot stirrer. It has something to do with the fact that she wanted to know how the things she was doing or saying were bothering me so she could do it again and get to a deeper level maybe.........or know how to get back there to this point maybe, or something........the thing was she wanted to remember and know how to do this to me..... THAT IS NOT OK!
This feels the same way as all the times the mother would get a reaction of pain or hurt from us and she would hit harder with her word or other things......jus to have that saification of hurting us and she would always get this tiny smirk on her face and say oh that bothers you does it and strike again.......This was more than just a daily thing until we got strong enough and smart enough to hide our reactions and learned how to play the game. It was a necessary thing to have in order for survival in that house and now T is trying to find the ways to bug us too..............even if she is doing it to help not hurt......it still FEELS the same way. I don't know to separate it. I can't separate it. She has now became a threat to us...........Even though she was trying to help, she has became a threat because that kind of help hurts........does any of this stuff make sense?