messed up

[Tangled Web]

Saw T on Tuesday and it messed up my head HUGE!
I am not saying she did it on purpose but then again maybe she did!
Things were going alright I didn't really have much to say. She bought a fairytale princess colouring book. A big one. And she gave to me. We didn't ask for it........I didn't know what to do so I said thank you. Taking things from people is NEVER ok to do. Especially if it has to do the lils inside. I asked her if it was trick to see if one of them would come out? She said no but who knows.
She told me she didn't think I would have accepted it just yet but she was glad I did. What do you say to that? Just because I took it doesn't mean that it will be used. I just didn't want to hurt her feelings by rejecting it or not saying thank you .
That would have been like a slap in the face don't you think? Well I do.
But the thing that REALLY bothered us was ..........
At one point she was analyzing my words asking me what they meant to me. I said to her oh is it your turn to put me in the hot seat today? It was kind of a joke considering how many times we made her squirm in her seat last time we saw her. Then someone said to her......one of those moments that something just flies out of your mouth and you wonder where the hell that came from........well someone said oh aren't you just the pot stirrer today to T. Well she decided to answer that. And I piped up and said ummmmmm the answer is NO say no that is not what you are doing.......she didn't say that! She said something about it being good to stir the pot. Not sure how she said it or what exactly she said........things get really blurry at this point. But she said something about it being good for her to know what bothers us and how she can get there to get to the issues and something about it being helpful for her. WELL all hell went loose in my head. Totally f*ck*d me up! It is not ok for her to know those things. It isn't ok for her to use any that and she can't be a pot stirrer.

Nothing makes sense anymore. Even though I felt some trust for her on a deeper level.......this has set me back so far. I can't get past it and it just brews and brews and brews and gets bigger and bigger...........I have no rational thoughts what so ever. She is going to hurt me. Why else would she want to know to get to me? What makes me tick and what button to push to get to this place or that place. Why would anyone EVER give someone that MUCH power and knowledge about themselves? That makes absolute NO SENSE to me what so ever. Oh man things are So f*ck*d up now. Panic....that is what I am feeling is panic and anger.
Who the hell does she think she is any ways.......those are thoughts that come into my head. Someone is really pissed inside! SHe shouldn't have said she was a pot stirrer. I knew that wasn't going to be good! Not exactly sure why it bothers me SO much but it really does!!!!!!!
I don't know what to do. I don't even know where to start.