Struggling and Need Encouragement

[MakersDozn]

(02-09-2014, 07:49 PM)mosaic Wrote: all sorts of disjointed thoughts that i can't put together float through my mind as i read your post - mostly recognizing the pain and how hard it is to let go of that magical thinking, and believing that there's no way to be the adult while still feeling the pain and sadness and anger

it's definitely scary to face being vulnerable

hope we're hearing you correctly... we are listening

Hi mosaic,

Yes, you hear me correctly. Thank you. And I identify with your experience of disjointed thoughts (and feelings).

This is what comes up for me now:

Self-help resources often talk of "reparenting," that is, the adult self acting as a "good parent" and nurturing the child self in the present day. I see this idea as flawed. If we don't have positive nurturing experiences in our past history, how is our adult self supposed to demonstrate nurturing? We can't bake a cake when there's no flour in the canister. [Metaphor from Laura.]

Another reason that reparenting doesn't work for me personally is that I can't be the "adult me" and the "child me" at the same time. If I'm feeling vulnerable, I'm almost certainly the "child me," and I can't be expected to summon the "adult me" to help me through those feelings.

So how do we bring healthy nurturing into our life as a healing experience, given these limitations? Our T says that the therapist-client relationship (which in our case is a healthy one) is one way. But beyond this, what tools do I have?

Thank you for encouraging me to sort out my thoughts.

Charity