"I'm Sorry You Feel That Way"

[Tangled Web]

I agree MDs with you that your mother telling you those things in the past is very different than where I was coming from. Thank you for giving an example and I am so sorry she did that to you. I think the rules change when it comes to a parent a child and I haven't been able to figure that part out. It is very hard to process those things and the feelings when the parent hasn't taught you how to as a child. I also agree that it is very complicated. I don't have any fool proof response to say to people to get them see how their words might have effective us after they are spoken........There have been times I have said to a person I was close with after they have told me that they are sorry I feel that way......my response was "no your not" and that would make them stop and want to talk about things. Sometimes that worked and sometimes it didn't. Mostly now I just try to process things on my own and end up shutting down. (I don't suggest this way of dealing with things). But like I said, I haven't figured out how to do that yet especially when it comes to dealing with my family.
I am here to listen though.
Laura