(10-25-2013, 04:00 PM)nats Wrote: (10-25-2013, 09:40 AM)tweeter Wrote: If there's something about a person that is unusual, or just different, from the people being interacted with, they might be confused and make up a mythology of assumptions based on their own history and associations (complete with costumes (joke)) to explain the nature of the new arrival on the scene. Better to avoid that mess, and SIMPLIFY. It's not a lie. Just less deep...
think so too. it often happens naturally - e.g. when stating your professional identity ("I'm a dentist... housewife... teacher.., etc") but can as easily happen in other aspects of life. perhaps as much as simplifying it's about focusing on our essential commonalities with those with whom we're interacting and ignoring the bigger, messier ways in which we may be quite different.
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What you refer to is a structure, or cover, that serves to satisfy curiosity and avoid questions you don't want asked. It can be true or fictional. I like to go for truth. But, my truth is a failure to succeed because I didn't know how to find my place.
My 6th grade teacher had a fix on me, which she took so seriously that she approached my mother. Mrs. E. thought I was an artist (she already knew I could act) and should be educated in an art to the degree that I could financially prosper. That, even though I was a very smart girl (an underachiever), I would be better off finding my own way, rather than being turned into a little intellectual. My mother took Mrs. E's evaluation as an insult. We got home. Just as I was about to say that I would like to follow the advice, her rant started. I didn't have a chance, which is exactly what this parent wanted. If she couldn't live thru me, I wouldn't be permitted to live either.
Fast forward to a job with a clerical title, in a highly intellectual venue. I got a college degree, but it was a waste of time. I hated school. I wanted to learn how to Do something. I didn't know what. Anyhow, it's a sure thing I needed a cover occupation for the joy of it, for money, human expression.
There was a lost opportunity under bazaar circumstances, which I shouldn't have run from. What a life that could have been! Another before that one, that would have been fun. I was living with an ab*s*ve parent, and didn't have the confidence to take on something that many girls would have done almost anything for. I can be very brave. In other ways, pathetically timid. The same pattern played out in 2011 when there was an open opportunity of unknown extent, and I had an *b*s*ve home life that prevented me from being me, being free.
The bottom line is that I don't want to mention what I did for work. The subject matter served me well, etc. Honest work. I'm ashamed that my status was nowhere. Honestly, I was bored, finished my chores very quickly and spent time studying people and ideas. Had a brief, informal, conversation with one of the profs. He said he felt I was onto something, and shouldn't let anything stop me.
Whatever, I can't talk openly about myself. I've done so more than I should have because I thought that this sort of thing was the legacy of mankind. Now, I think, it could have been.
I await another opportunity. I continue to work at what I am (whatever that is), which includes evading efforts to stop me, and not getting in my own way. Also, dealing with illness. I don't have much bandwidth left for commonalities in what has come to be a divide and conquer world. I find it easy to talk to people, short-term.
One of the few things I rejoice in at this point is my individualistic nature. Yeah, there's a bit of ham in me. Gets me into trouble too.
Well, sharing myself and sharing an experience do not necessarily have to occur to the same degree at the same time.
Sorry this is so long and convoluted. Fragmented by necessity. Like being alone on a raft on the ocean of water, but there are other rafts out there. That's when the sense of commonality crosses over.
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