Defenses

[Tangled Web]

Well telling her you don't want to talk about something is saying it right up front and there is no misunderstanding that, but if you change the subject in a way that she does not catch on to then it is different. She might realize it much later on in the conversation but usually by that time the thoughts or train of thought is already lost.
This next part, I know even as I am thinking it doesn't make a lot of sense but if we tell her something we don't want to talk about it, it shows her our weakness.........it is like giving her access to our buttons.....you know the buttons people push to get to you.......we are basically pointing that out to her.....oh that is this button and if you push it this will happen or something like that. I don't know exactly how to describe it ............. there will be a reaction, and I know that is why we are therapy to help with those things and we should talk about those things but when we are in that moment that is NOT where our thinking goes. We go into invasion measures to protect us......it happens automatically and I wish I knew where the shut off switch was.
Does that make sense?