Hope vs. Trust?

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I knew I was sleepy when I wrote before. Amazing I didn't nod off at the keyboard. Maybe I did a couple of times. Certainly reads that way. Insufficient separation of categories.

The mixup for me might have occurred because I define two categories of trust.

One is based in competence with subject matter, and outstanding integrity/accountability, respect for those served. This could indeed define a professional relationship, like a doctor, teacher.....
The way the health system operates here, it's easy for a doc to withhold test results (or even the full extent of testing done), doc notes, patient options and lack thereof because of how the so-called system is run, etc. Even trusted docs can falter and pretty much throw a patient under the bus, so to speak. Without going into details, this has happened to me, and it's serious.

The Other has to do with my ability to trust someone with my feelings, my secrets. My expectation is not unquestioning approval. Who needs that! But, I need to expect the degree of gentleness that defines that kind of relationship for me, and I return it too.
If a person gets thru to some indefinable degree, I'm capable of waiting for that kindness, thru h*ll and high water. It might not start that way, but when this goes wrong, it's because of a double signal situation. Can begin as interactions read more than one way, and which involve a certain emotional risk for me. This can occur in purely platonic and romantic situations. (One reason why being flirted with makes me uncomfortable. But, that can be the beginning of courtship, or not.....)

A problem.
I have a history of not expecting the same degree of integrity in some above-described personal relationships, most especially of the romantic variety. My view has been that I don't necessarily have to trust someone to love. Makes sense in some situations, but not in others, not where the degree of honesty and responsibility towards each other should be on solid ground (as between reasonable adults).
Sometimes I think I'm too softhearted, naive. Or, I've been taken advantage of by someone who knows what I need and can get thru, the combination of which is very rare.

Okay, I think I've clarified things. Hope so.
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