Another day of struggling

[Blue]

(05-01-2013, 05:24 PM)Igraine Wrote: Work stuff: The other day I had a defining moment at work. A coworker was showing me where stuff was kept...we walked all over an area the size of a football field for him to show me. This, after I asked if we could sit down for 5 minutes and help me draw a map so I'd know exactly where to go every time. No, he had to show me (for the second time). Picture me in severe pain, having a lot of trouble walking at this point, and picture buddy who is leading me looking over his shoulder at my struggles and then deliberately doubling the pace to almost a run with a kind of sadistic leer on his face. This image of deliberate cruelty is burned into my brain and I've been PTSDing the image over and over and over again for the last 24 hours. I just can't get it to stop. Eventually it will, but right now it is grotesque. Over and over I see the look of pleasure as he watches me limping to keep up, and his smile widens as he starts going faster and faster. Well...now he's going to spend the next 21 straight days working for that bit of inconsiderate nastiness because that was it for me. I quit and he has no replacement. Maybe he should of thought of that. I do not allow any kind of abuse in my life where I can possibly help it. I do believe that I've had a sufficient amount, thanks all the same, or I wouldn't be what I am today. At least now, as an adult I have some control over what happens to me in terms of abuse. I find that I am sensitive to even the smallest amount of it. Maybe things that others wouldn't even view as abusive or as just mildly abusive, definitely set me off. This set me off...triggered something...enough to turn the whole thing into a visual möbius loop that is going to take me days to lose now.

Yo Igraine. I hear you on this about not lettin any kind of abuse through. The slightest inkling of any kind of abuse and i blow up! Especially if the abuse is toward our host. She is quite weak and vulnerable so any signs of abuse and i jump right in.

I realise your post was quite a while ago now. I hope your work situation has improved. Hopefully you're now in a better place.
Blue.