new developement

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(08-07-2013, 12:11 PM)Tangled Web Wrote: Hi mosaic. We have talked about how hard it is for us to start talking about things, it didn't change anything. I know we still need to explore that part with her some more. It is the blank feeling I feel when everything just gets erased that I would like to figure out. It is hard to explore things with people when you lose your words in the process. It is frustrating. I think she will using the emails to guide the conversations and I hope she doesn't expect us to just volunteer information.(I don't think she does).
But you did just give me a good idea I think.........I will email her about the block and the loss of words and then we can talk about that email. That just might work. Then she will have that information and we can talk about that in the session.
Thanks mosaic!
TW

Hi Tangled Web and Mosaic. Interesting exchange. These words particularly impressed me:
"It is the blank feeling I feel when everything just gets erased that I would like to figure out. It is hard to explore things with people when you lose your words in the process."

Is it that not only do you lose ability to verbalize an answer, but that you are aware that the words that were there were erased? It could be that someone inside defensively erased them. This is view could be supported by what Mosaic said about letting someone "in."

An image came to mind that seems appropriate, but I'm not sure how to translate. I'll begin and we'll see where it goes. I've been watching a series, Heartland, which I personally find comforting on a number of levels. There is a character, Amy, who is a horse whisperer.
Communication with other animals is of interest to me because it is largely nonverbal, and the bottom line is establishing trust. I guess you could call Amy a horse T, as this is her work (the animals are not owned by her).
One of the primary exercises of this profession is quietly, and without force, bringing about a situation in which a horse willingly follows behind this person as she walks around a fenced-in area.

Thing is, that when you described some of the others talking with former T, in my vision of this, everyone was walking together, relaxed. That was before I came up with this parallel consciously/verbally.

In relationships, especially those where there is a strong component of following, at least for me, the foundation is non-verbal. It has to do with a resonance of common ground leading to trust. Far from foolproof, it's how I am. How someone really gets my attention. When I first follow, I can get skittish shortly after. In fact, it's a time when unfortunate misunderstandings can occur. That being said, the times of introduction and first followings need to be slow (but not as a tree sloth) and deliberate. Then, maybe the heart can speak, apart from and of its pain.
This is one example (people are different, don't do everything in the same order or in exactly the same way). Take from it what you find useful.

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