another idea bites the dust

[The People]

On Sunday at church this big idea came to me. I decided it was time to let go of what was taken, what I didn't have, and start looking for things to have.

I quickly worked up an image of being a foster parent. 2 girls; preferably sisters. My pdoc thought it was a wonderful idea. Today I saw my soon to be former T. She works for an agency that councils foster kids. Her concern was that I would not get what I want. So many kids in the foster system would not be able to give me what I need. They are shut down. Inability to bond because of what they have been through. Many are explosive and don't give a sh*t.

I am sure they are not all like that. But I would want kids who were already in school and as the magic turn around age is 7 there would be a good chance the kids I would foster would be more than I could handle and would give me nothing in return. That was her perspective. She stepped back a bit and suggested that I could at least make inquiries. What's the point? Yes these kids need homes too. And people to love and care for them. But not getting anything back would probably finish me as I have had 54 years of not getting anything back. Another idea bites the dust.