Another day of struggling

[Cammy]

May 31 continued: The site won't let me scroll back or forth through my posts, so this is a continuation of the May 31 post I started. Anyway, as I was trying to say, just having a majorly super panicky anxiety day where I'm sure I'm dying. The usual textbook stuff looks so innocuous in print until you get to actually get the pleasure of really experiencing it. I've swallowed a pharmacy today, accept of course for Lorazepam which I am weaning off of (I'm safe...we are NOT talking overdose here, just desperate anxiety control). I can tell you nothing has helped, and these meds are high grade little helpers. I will be spending tonight meditating, drinking tea, and trying to get a grip. I just HAD to post. I had no where else to turn to to at least talk about what's been going on. As it is I can only seem to get out the tip of the iceberg, but it's better than nothing. Thank you for being here MM. At least I have a safe place to come, say my bit, and not have people freak out at what I'm expressing. If I were to disclose this to my friend, he would flip, throw me in the car, and drive me to ER. We all know what happens then...lots of waiting, then heaps of abuse for bothering them, then getting sent home. No thanks. He's a friend, but he really does not understand a damn thing and doesn't really want to, like most of the people out there.

Okay, I'm done. For now. Just a bad day I guess. Thanks for anyone who takes the trouble to read my ranting and crap. Please do not respond to this. There is nothing to say. I just needed to write this to get some of it out. Igraine.