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(05-24-2013, 08:49 AM)nats Wrote:

(05-24-2013, 04:23 AM)tweeter Wrote: I'm perplexed. In terms of strategy, not generally my strong point, a positive move can be lateral, because one might become happier, or, in the stillness of preparation (the prep. is the positive move) for a change in status. What did you have in mind?

exactly that. sometimes the way forward is blocked, but sideways isn't and can even lead to further forward motion from another position (think of how the knight moves in chess). a step backwards can sometimes provide additional perspective or a chance to learn something previously missed. there is even the perspective that development is a spiral (e.g. coming back to the same point over and over but at a different level each time). my thoughts aren't well-formed on this, but in terms of strategy it is usually better to focus on the desired outcome more than on the path we're currently on to achieving it - then it becomes easier to see the many other possible paths that can be used to get there. sorry if this is too rambling..

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Not rambling at all. You speak to what is parallel in my mind, but not verbally clear to me (the way I often think -- there are tradeoffs, but it's worth it). You and others here help me to get back on track, until I need to go off in order to hunt in my own way.

I don't play chess. (I'd like to give Texas Hold 'em P*k*r a try, on a learning basis.) I got your point about the Knight's moves for positioning. You also realize how obsessive entanglements can occur, such that the blazing clarity of intent is lost in a maze of one or more paths. The maze of one path, that is a concept one can fall into. I don't think that's a good idea in the way I mean it.

If the mind follows best (even unknown) potentials for intent success, the results can be almost magical. Have to be ready though, and possess autonomy to act in a second. Some of my saddest mistakes have occurred because I was unprepared for once-in-a-life time opportunities.

If actions or words (often optional in nature) are not necessary, and possibly block options for progress, access to temporary allies, or escape, it might be best to reconsider expressing negative feedback about another person's behavior, to say too much about yourself. I know that well. I should never have told the c*lt people what I was into. I've been too trusting. That translates to not getting it how rotten some people can be, or that they wouldn't h*rm me because I'm a pretty good person. If the events of the last month (including medical, which won't be covered on this board), haven't gotten thru to me, I don't know what will.

I know the concept of clear intent, focus, from another venue. Sometimes that's easily done, especially if you're naturally that way. Intent can get divided, especially emotionally in my case.
Maybe that was the reasoning behind the formation of warrior castes, with codified intent, along with training to accomplish goals, and leaders to define them. A nice model, more than a bit idealized for the long run. Corruption, even if it's only minor change from the original, seems inevitable.

The spiral, my natural habitat! You have expressed its nature better than I have, and given me a foundation upon which I have expanded.

I used to call these phenomena "thought loops," when I got stuck all the time. In my experience, you're not necessarily at a different level on each return, because you're not ready to go. It can be like when you watch a favorite movie many times, seeing things that you missed, whether trivial or life-changing. These observations might not reach the aware mind right away. For some reason you want to see a scene again, and then you open, feel, and know. Your experience is complete. You learn, change, and no longer want to see that movie.

My memory of life resembles snap shots, sometimes like the old time movies, where pages were flipped fast to give continuity. I'll focus on one little thing that got to me (one page), a question in me that I Need an answer to. For instance: "What was that person feeling when he moved that way, when he walked away?" That's one kind of spiral.

In another kind, which is theoretical (with practical implications) and has less emotional content, once I've moved forward, I'll use the same words to describe, but they don't mean the same thing. Different level. I don't do much of that anymore. Probably ran out of old phrasing, and it's done.

Depending on how one functions inside, either it can be as an epiphany. You see, you feel, you might make a decision to Be in a certain way. If so, make that part of you immediately, because the few explanatory words that represent the meeting of the unconscious and the aware, verbal minds are soon lost within minutes or hours. Tracing backward can be like paw prints in the dessert after a sandstorm. At other times, the answer and personal decision can lead to reaching out to another person involved, but you're not examining the scene, as it were. That's done.

I've just described two kinds of spiral experiences.

I think a certain amount of repetitive return to the same level(s) is normal. I find I need to experience, then verbalize a question, which is voluntarily repeated. If that doesn't work, I find that stepping back and reformulating the question generally does. Sometimes you shelve the whole thing, and go back or find yourself there, and it comes together. If the return itself, or conditions experienced, are completely out of control, then a normal way of examining, learning, dealing has become something else.

Answers are to be had. Mostly, it amounts to asking the right questions in the right state of mind. And, then there's timing. That's when I fail, utterly fail. Too late, too late.

Whatever, I'm working hard. I made promises to myself and I'm keeping them. Not an easy life when near the bottom of the feeding chain.

Talk about rambling. Appreciate your input.
tweeter