Scared, Skeptical, and have no idea

[shades]

Wow, I disagree with a lot that was written in this thread. My therapist didn't have any experience with DID and she helped us immensely. On the other hand, I've heard a lot of "experts" say some really stupid things.
I didn't see anything in Fin's first post that suggested the T is being "abusive."

Fin, do you trust this therapist? Has she kept good boundaries with you? Are you willing to talk to her more openly about your concerns that you brought up in your first post? I think your instinct to find out why she wants to meet one of your others was a good one, and I am sorry that you got talked out of it. Understanding a therapist's intentions can be important. Maybe she can explain it and you can talk it through and tell her your own perspective. If you decide that you (all) don't want her asking for others to come forth, and she doesn't respect whatever boundary you choose to draw, then I would become more concerned that there is a problem.

If you really believe there is a problem with this therapist and have had that feeling before you got the input here, then please go with what you feel. But it sure seems to me like people here have jumped the gun and much of the "red flag" advice is based on other people's own negative experiences, not necessarily on what you have written here.

Your first post talks about your fears about "what if" things happen in therapy, and these are important concerns that you could talk to your therapist about if you are willing and feel it is a safe enough relationship to let her know you are scared.