PLEASE UNDERSTAND !!!!!!!

[Melody]

GOD... one of my biggest struggles lately. Why am I like I am? I am triggered everytime I just HEAR the word g@d. I've tried to get over it but the word g@d was used in a large part of my abuse. I desperately want to believe in a kind, loving being but it is hard. My husband is not satisfied with me just saying a higher power. He knows about my abuse and I have told him many times how I feel about that word. It triggers me so badly and I get extremely angry and switch. Is he unable to see how bad it affects me??? I know he's sensitive about my triggers and he's a good man so I just don't understand. Feedback anyone?