I'm a newbie to MM and glad I'm here.

[boman519]

G'day,

My name is James. I'm new to MM and look forward to meeting people. I was diagnosed DID with amnesia (diagnosed in late 90's) & PTSD (diagnosed July 2012). I was 38 and at the end of the road. I was tired of living in this body and reached out for help. I haven't stopped since.

I began the process of integration in July 2012. I was able to collapse quite a few alters and felt for the first time in my life a bit of peace. I could stand still and not have a conversation with my alters (I call them my "circle of friends") while I talked with someone.

I thought I had fully integrated at that time. Two weeks ago I disassociated from writing in my daily blog. What I wrote that day I have no memory of who wrote it. Indeed it was me, only I don't remember which one of me. It was intended from the read of things to my family members. As of last week, I am back to living fragmented again and wanting to be whole .

I have lived this way since I was 8, I'm now over 50. Its a long time to be living fragmented. I have spent most of this year trying to understand me and label all of me that I know to be me. Its not easy and painful.

Nice to have some place to come and share.

James