Having a voice

[Emma19]

Hi,
I just wanted to share something here concerning my healing journey....
Spoiling for a few triggers words.....
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A few years ago at one of my stronger places I found myself wanting two things. One was to have a voice and really be heard and to give back in some way for all the good support that helped me get to this point.
So with the help of my T we found a place that I could do both these things safely. Was this and is this easy. No. But it has helped in my growth and self worth.
We took a course to become a se*ual as*ault crisis counselor. This course was given by amazingly compassionate understanding women. After graduating I did volunteer on a R*pe crisis 24 hour hotline. I only did 2 shifts a month maybe 3, because that was about all I could do sensibly.the other aspect of this project of mine was to speak on a survivor panel to then help new students hear from a survivor and understand our feelings which helped them be a better counselor.i have since stopped doing the 24 hour hotline work but have continued to speak at these classes a few times a year.this I know was helpful for those listening but it has been most helpful to me in that I tell our story ,get heard and know that my words are truly met with compassion and by doing this maybe another victim /survivor can be helped.
Tomorrow I am speaking at a class of 22 students. Each time I do this my story comes out different except for the hard core facts which do not change.it is different each time because of my current life experiences and what I bring in with me to the table.i do come home from these speakings really glad we did it but are drained.....
But in the end I feel like I speak for my wonderful inside kids who were silent for so long. I am proud to carry them with me and bring them to a safe place that cares totally about the survivor. That is their life's work ( the people at SACS). I always feel fortunate to be in Their presence. So today I am sorting my thoughts and feelings quietly in preparation. Emma19