Grieving a Lost Childhood

[MakersDozn]

(10-12-2012, 12:12 AM)Tangled Web Wrote: MDs (Charity), I am sorry you are going through this. I do believe you can learn to nuture yourself even though you were nutured. I am sorry you were never nutured and it does it make it hard to know what nuturing is. I try to do what Mosiac has suggested..........imagine what it should have looked liked and what I would have wanted to happen and try to do that. It isn't easy.

TW, thanks for replying.

If we proceed only with our imagination to guide us, we have no basis by which to judge reality. Charity thought for years that she was nurturing everybody, and look how that ended up. Our inside kids (55 percent of our system) have benefitted, but most of those of us 12 and over (the other 45 percent) have not. And the more we realize the difference between Charity's misplaced ideals and the realities of our experience, the more broken we feel. Especially Charity and the other bigs, because they feel responsible.

Going forward....as we said to mosaic, we can learn to nurture ourselves, but we need to experience nurturing from a safe outside source first. We have to be taught. We have to have something experiential to believe in. Without a strong foundation, the house is doomed to crumble.

Hoping that we can continue to talk about this here.

Various MDs