when to give up on T..?

[Dreamscapes Collectives]

(09-04-2012, 06:01 PM)nats Wrote:

(08-31-2012, 05:30 PM)Tangled Web Wrote: I know if I keep accepting it things will NEVER change for me.......Just a thought.

Yes, and then what...? HOW do you change?

I know I haven't read all the way through the thread so if this got addressed I apologize.

This question caught our eye because we both know how to change and don't know how to change. If it's something specific we can work on it.

For example, some years ago we realized that we didn't make good friends and we wanted to become better friends. So we picked a couple of the friends we trusted and told them what we were thinking about and asked if they could help out. They helped us to understand some things that we didn't and they would point out when we did things that were inconsiderate. In a nice way.

That's what they did. What we had to do was take in that information and start trying to apply it. It started with us just trying to catch and recognize the behaviours before they were pointed out to us. Once we could do that we had to figure out a different way to react. So we asked our friends about what other ways could we react instead of the ways we had been. Then we used that information to slowly start to alter how we acted.

It took time. And it was really hard sometimes. But we managed to change the things we didn't like about how we acted in regards to our friends.

Maybe that's what your T could do. Give you ideas about how to do something. Like, maybe pick one thing you want to change. Then maybe tell your T, "This is something I want to change but I don't know how, do you have any suggestions?". Then, if she gives you good suggestions you understand and that make sense to you, you can take those and figure out how to apply them.

I don't know if this helps, but it's something we thought when we saw your question on how to change.

realms people